Vulnerable: Book 1 of the Magic Mutations Series | ✓

24: The Bond

A myriad of emotions passed over his face—shock, sadness, longing, love, lust, then finally determination set in. He got to his feet and held a hand out to me. A slight spark into his hand made him wince. My lack of trust in him was breaking our bond. If it were to ever mend, I had to know he wasn't lying about this.

As I stood up, he was very close. Barely any distance between us. I could feel his warmth against me, despite that his body wasn't pressed against mine. He stared down at me, sad, but also lovingly, as he brought his free hand up, brushing my hair behind my ear, eyes scrunching up slightly.

"You will feel it," he whispered, "The proposal... It will be overwhelming. You'll feel all my feelings coming at you."

"How do you know?"

"We learned about it in school..."

He brought a hand to my waist, the other hand cupping my cheek as his face came closer. His breath warm against my mouth. "I really like you, Olivia. And if you'll accept me, I would like to spend the rest of my life falling deeper and harder for you. If you want that, all you have to do is kiss me, back, okay? But if you can't forgive me... just push me away and we can let our feelings disappear. And you can finally be free from me."

I nodded slightly, not quite sure if I was ready for this if it was true. Not sure if I would even be ready to make a lifelong commitment to a guy who had already caused so much confusion and heartache for me. But I needed concrete proof to believe him if I was to ever forgive him.

Ever so slowly, he lowered his face closer to mine, until his lips finally pressed against my mouth. Warm, moist, mild pressure, moving in a slow dance against my lips. And with the physical sensation, all at once a wall of emotional ones came through. Ben's feelings, his sadness, hurt, guilt, and torment mixed equally with his adoration, love, and warmth for me, coursing its way through my body.

I was used to the butterflies, the goosebumps, the blushing that came with a kiss. But the magnitude of his feelings for me that he had kept repressed so far went deeper than I had ever seen or understood. There was no confusion in that moment as Ben moved his lips over mine that he absolutely adored me in every way. He just didn't know how to say or show it.

And as I began to realise his feelings, that lasso that had tied me to him began to glow once more, begging me to react to make a decision about whether I accepted his feelings or wanted to push him away. As my pull opened up to him, my zaps subsided, causing his feelings to lean more into me, begging me to want him back. Begging me to trust his feelings.

I knew it was silly. I knew it was too soon. We barely knew each other, and to make a commitment that had no way out unless through death was ridiculous. But in the moment, as a lonely broken girl eager to continue to feel this level of adoration for longer, and consumed by his emotions caressing my heart, his hand on my face, his lips on my mouth, I couldn't help but melt into his touch and forgive him.

So I kissed him back, my lips finally moving with his. The bond burned brilliant, bright, and fiery within me, tying a knot between our two hearts only to be cut if one of them stopped. 

Suddenly all his negative emotions subsided, and the feelings I got from Ben now were only lust, desire, and love. He parted my lips with his, tongue caressing mine. My hands came up, knotting in his hair, pulling him closer. His hips pressed closer against me, hand on my face sliding down my back, pulling me closer to him. 

And while the exchange of our kiss and emotions was something I had so longed to do with him, I can't say it was largely different from kissing anyone for the first time, especially Ben who hadn't done this before. He was clumsy and awkward, sometimes a little too forceful. Sometimes a little too sloppy. But I could feel he needed me closer. I felt I needed him closer.