Vulnerable: Book 1 of the Magic Mutations Series | ✓

30: A Delayed Fight

December 2017

As winter officially began, and study season approached, I spent most of my study week cooped up in Ben's bedroom. I had no more classes, just endless free time to reread the texts we had studied and wrap my head around them.

Ben had spent the week rereading them with me, talking with me about them, and quizzing me on potential exam questions.

On Friday night after we had come back from dinner and were laying in his bed, I decided I would try again to spice things up... to take our relationship to the next step.

"You've been really helpful this past week," I said to him, rolling onto my side to look at him.

He grinned at me. "We will see how helpful I was when you finish your exams."

I reached out to him, tracing my fingers up and down over his chest. "I was thinking I could maybe find a way to thank you..." I didn't meet his eyes. I felt too awkward.

"Yeah? How so?"

Shimmying closer, I slowly lowered my face down to his, kissing him gently at first before deepening the kiss. He began to respond just as I wanted, tongue exploring my mouth, teeth nibbling gently at my lip.

I climbed on top of him next, trailing my lips down his neck, and he let out a soft moan as he weaved his fingers through my hair.

Then I began slipping my fingers up under his shirt, slowly prying it up.

As per usual, his hands came down, stopping me.

I pulled back immediately, frowning at him. "Why?"

He smiled at me. "Why what?"

"Why do you always stop me when things get intense?"

He brushed my hair out of my face. "Because it's too soon."

A frustrated sigh escaped me and I got off him. "Fine. I'll go home."

"Olivia," he started, grabbing my arm. "Don't go."

"Then have sex with me," I almost spat at him.

His eyes widened like he didn't expect this reaction from me.

"Sorry," I mumbled, feeling the shame creep in. "I just feel like maybe I have a gnome down there or that you're not attracted to me or something and I hate it."

"No, no, no. Olivia, honey, I'm very attracted to you."

"Then why won't you let us take the next step?" I couldn't stop the anger seeping into my tone again.

"Because we're not ready."

"You aren't. Don't speak for me."

He let out a heavy breath, but didn't say anything, almost as if he was biting his tongue.

"What? Say it."

"You're not ready."

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms over my body, feeling defensive. "What would you know?"

"I feel it."

"Feel what?"

"You're scared of me."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "I am not! You're hallucinating that."

He shook his head, sure. "I'm not."

"You just don't want me to be your first because I've done it before. Admit it," I accused.

He moved away from me, shocked. "Excuse me?"