Sweet Admiration (MewGulf AU)

🌞Chapter 38🌻

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Gulf's heart raced furiously. Perhaps it was because of the wine they drank at dinner, but Gulf had blurted out his heart's desire.

He understood why Mew had caught his breath. He had brought it up out of nowhere, no wonder Mew had been surprised. However, Gulf's feelings had grown stronger that day, and it swelled inside him so much, it had nowhere to go. He was at his limit. He wanted to do more than kiss. He wanted Mew to touch him more. He wanted to get to know Mew better. Everything he didn't know about him. Mew held his hand during the whole taxi ride, and didn't let go of it even when they got out.

Holding each other's hands tightly, they silently got in the elevator. Did Mew know how he felt? What he wanted to do? Mew remained silent, but he was still gripping Gulf's hand. The sound of Gulf's heartbeat echoed in his ears. When they reached the seventh floor, he felt his legs tangle with nervousness. Mew walked quickly, pulling Gulf along behind him.

Mew suddenly stopped walking. Looking up, Gulf saw Art standing in front of their door once again.

"Welcome home, Mew." Art said, as his gaze turned to Mew and Gulf's interlaced hands. They quickly let go, but it was too late. Art had definitely seen them holding hands.

"It's late. Go home," Mew said coldly.

Art smiled sadly and nodded. "I will. But first, I have to talk to P'Gulf about something."

"To Gulf?"

"Yeah. It won't take long. I'll go home right after."

"What do you need to talk to him about?" Mew said, suspiciously. He had no idea what Art would need to talk to Gulf about.

"None of your business! I just want to ask him advice about work, since he just graduated and everything."

Mew still looked doubtful. He unlocked the door and invited Art inside. "Well, I'm going to take a bath. Make it short. When you're done, you need to go home."

"Okay."

Mew was about to leave the living room when Gulf looked at him as if he didn't want him to leave. There was no way Art really wanted to ask him for advice. He wanted Mew to help him, but all Mew did was nod at him.

After Mew left the room, Art quickly made himself at home on the sofa. He beckoned Gulf to sit beside him. As he sat down, Art got straight to the point. "He said to make it quick, so I will. What is your relationship to Mew?"

"Huh?" Gulf didn't know what to say at such a blunt question.

"I said, what are you to my brother? I saw you holding his hand."

"So this isn't about wotk?"

"Does it sound like it is? If I didn't make up some excuse, he wouldn't have let me in." Art glared at Gulf, his eyes full of hostility.

Gulf was confused, and looked at the door Mew had left from. It didn't seem like he was returning any time soon.

"P'Gulf, are you listening?"

"I'm listening. I'm just P'Mew's roommate."

"Roommate?" Art knitted his brows together with amusement.

Gulf realized exactly what kind of situation he had gotten himself into. He had to tell him the truth. "But I love P'Mew. A lot," he declared, staring at Art in the face. At this, Art finally showed his true colors.

"P'Gulf, you must have misunderstood. Mew had absolutely no..."

"I haven't misunderstood a thing. I truly believe P'Mew feels the same way."

"Then you're a fool," Art spat out.

That was fine with Gulf. After all,it had taken 12 whole years for him to realize his feelings. He was a fool.

"You don't know the first thing about Mew," Art said viciously.

That was true, but Gulf was trying to get to know him.

"There will be plenty of time to get to know him," he said. "I'm sure P'Mew will tell me everything."

"Then what about this? The secret he's been keeping. I doubt he'll tell you himself so why don't I tell you?"

Gulf's heart pounded at the word 'secret.' A bad feeling pulled through his body. He forgot to breathe.

"A long time ago, Mew had sex with me. He acts like he doesn't remember it, but he did."

Gulf stared, dumbfounded.

"Do you know why?" Art continued without mercy. "Because the truth is, Mew loves me. But since I'm his brother, he's holding back his feelings. He feels that it's wrong, so he shut his feelings away deep in his heart, and that's why he tries to avoid me. Because he loves me."

"You're lying."

"I'm not lying. If you think I am, ask him yourself. Mew had sex with me. It's a fact. He had sex with me because he loves me. Do you understand? Or, has he had sex with you, too?" Art looked at Gulf's face and after he guessed that the answer was no, he laughed loudly. "I thought so. If he loved you, he'd have sex with you. Like he did with me! He doesn't love you. You already know that. He's only nice to you because you're so obedient. Like a pet you'd keep to pass the time."

Art's voice reverberated in Gulf's ears like a gong.

Gulf's face went pale, and he clasped his trembling hands together.

Art was lying. He had to be. But what if it was true?

Gulf couldn't stand the thought of it. He was utterly confused and stunned. All he could do was stare blankly ahead.

Mew finished his shower and  returned to the living room. "Are you done talking?" He had changed into pajamas and was drying his hair with a towel. Art turned to him and nodded happily.

"Yes, I'm done. Mew, why are you wearing pajamas? Aren't you going to take me home?"

"I drank alcohol tonight, so I can't. Take the train or a taxi."

"Oh, well. I guess I'll go home now."

"Be careful."

Gulf felt Mew looking at him, but he couldn't bring himself to look back at him.

"P'Gulf, thank you very much. Bye, Mew. Goodnight." Art said, his voice were dripping with insincerity. He exited the living room, leaving Mew and Gulf by themselves.

Mew wasn't sure how to react to this strange silence, so he said, "What did he want? He said something about advice?"

Gulf didn't answer, and silently stood up.

"Gulf?" Mew asked worriedly, but Gulf didn't answer him. His whole body told him not to look Mew in the face.

"Gulf, what's wrong?"

Gulf tried to walk past him but Mew grabbed his arm. Gulf automatically shook his hand off and silently moved towards his room.

"Gulf!"

Mew followed him. Gulf knew that. Mew had sensed something was wrong, but he leaned his back against the door and refused to let Mew in.

This was his only sanctuary.

He wouldn't let anyone step foot in it.

Tears ran down his cheeks.

But Gulf didn't even realize it.

TBC