Children of Night and Snow

54. The Lost Queen

"They're back!" Demi exclaimed. We were sitting by the fire and monitoring still sleeping Lucia and Connor for hours now. Just as they said last night, Devan and the twins left the first thing in the morning to hunt. It was necessary if we wanted to make it to Midnight City. Since we were now stuck in the cave, nursing two of our friends to health, we faced too much of a delay to last on our dried food alone. Not to mention both Connor and Lucia needed proper food in order to heal faster. The cave was safe for now, but we couldn't expect it to last forever.

"Took you long enough," Nolan mumbled as he got up to help them skin the deer they brought in.

"Shut up. We had to go to hell and back for this one. Nothing lives in the ten mile radius of this place. No wonder those rogues were so feral yesterday. We were lucky to find this one," Devan replied. The two worked side by side while twins wordlessly created a pile of wood they brought in as well to keep the fire going.

"Here," Nolan handed me a chunk of bloody meat. I looked around me to find a stick to put it on so I could cook it over the fire, but all I saw instead was everyone just eating raw as it was, their canines out, the deer blood on their lips. Even Connor and Lucia were eating now, both leaning against a pile of rocks to support them where they sat.

"You're not going to, you know... cook that stuff first?" I asked, horrified. This seemed to really amuse them all.

"If we were human, sure," replied Devan.

"But we've always cooked our food before," I was lost, much to their continuous amusement.

"Well yeah, doesn't mean we need it. Especially now. Raw meat gives us more strength. It feeds the wolf within us. Speeds up healing and recovery. Try it," Demi explained. I looked at the chunk of meat in my hand. It wasn't repulsive per say. But it wasn't anything to be excited about either.

"Seriously, do wolves in the South repress their predator side that much? You don't even have the very basic instincts for this?" Aaron shook his head. I felt ashamed for a second. Was that really the case? Did we really do that?

"Go on, just try it, Freya. I promise you'll love it," Nolan whispered in my ear from behind where he was now sitting with his own dinner. I gave him a hesitant look and received that typical mischievous wink in return. A small gesture that made me fall in love with him in the first place. If in love was what I'd call what we had. I looked at the meat again and then I took a bite in order to get it over with. I hoped that if I tried a bite and showed them it's not my thing, I'd get away with cooking the rest after. But that didn't happen. Nolan was right. There was something about that piece of raw meat that made me not want to stop. Like the wolf inside me woke up and demanded more and more until there was nothing left.

"We'll have to take her on our fun hunts sometime. Maybe when we settle in the capital, we should all go," Aaron suggested upon seeing me devour the entire piece of meat in almost record time. I was almost ashamed of myself especially because everyone seemed even more amused now that they proved me wrong.

"Fun hunts?" I asked, confused, as I wiped the blood off my face and retracted my canines. 

"Yeah, the kind where you hunt only to eat right then and there as a wolf. Not to bring back food for storage," Devan said.

"Oh," was all I could muster. Back at home such hunts were considered barbaric and against the rules. It was considered a minor crime and whoever was caught would have to go through something like rehabilitation.

Now that I thought about it maybe there was some truth to Aaron's words about repressing the predators within us. We were raised without connection to our wolves, unable to control them and anything we did which was a result of that very lack of control was punished. It was like only our human side was welcome. I used to think Summerlands were a peaceful land. That we didn't bring out the wolves in us because we were safe and we didn't have to. But the more I learnt about who I really was, I began to think if that was true or if it was the other way around. What if suppressing who we were was the price our ancestors promised to pay in order to be allowed to stay?

"What are you thinking about?" Nolan asked as he pulled me into his chest allowing us both to rest by the comfortable heat of the fire.

"About a story I read in one of your books. The one about the ancient Ice King and his Queen, killed by his best friend and a traitor, who then fled to the Summerlands with his people," I admitted thinking back to the legend I knew since I was a child, yet in so very different form.

"What about it?" Nolan seemed confused. Everyone else seemed to be interested in my answer as well.

"The story is very different where I come from. In our tales, he's the hero and savior of our people. It's what we are taught since we can understand what the story means. They tell us he brought our people across the Frozen Wastes to save us and give us a more peaceful life. That we should be grateful to his legacy and always honor his descendants as our alphas. It's a story they use to teach us obedience. To fall in line, to not rebel and be grateful," I explained.

"Bullshit," Az spat with unexpected venom in his voice.

"Yeah, the guy was nothing but the ultimate traitor and clearly an even bigger hypocrite," added Aaron. Nolan just laughed. Much to everyone's confusion.

"You said the guy you were in love with back there, the one you ended up attacking and who got you exiled, he was supposed to be the next alpha, right? Does that mean he is a direct descendant of the traitor?" he asked me and I nodded.

"Oh Gods, that's quite poetic! Nolan, you named her Freya!" exclaimed Demi and next thing I knew, everyone was either smirking or chuckling.

"I feel like I'm missing something here," I said bitterly, feeling left out once again.

"The Ice Queen Alexander killed, her name was Freya. It's not a commonly known fact, but if you visit the Hall of Kings and Queens in Midnight City, her portrait is there just like portraits of all the Kings and Queens who came before and after," Aaron explained and all I could do was just blink at him as I connected the dots. All those millenia ago, Alexander was said to murder the Ice Queen by luring her out into the wilderness where he ambushed and gravely injured her, leaving her to slowly bleed out in the freezing cold far away from her home. The irony of his descendant casting me out to die in similar fashion only for me to survive and carry her name now made me chuckle as well. Maybe I was meant to end up here after all. Maybe it was up to me to bring Freya's legacy back to her home city. So, so many years later.