portlyn villa//H.S

acid tongue

And now I am tired (Tired)
It just made me tired (Tired)
Let's build ourselves a fire (Fire)
Let's build ourselves a fire (Fire)

violetta fern

"I don't understand why you don't trust me," I mumble from across the table, looking up at Harry's shirtless chest, and he heaves a heavy breath at me. I had been arguing with him about letting me go to Savannahs for a movie night alone, and he is nowhere near happy with the argument I'm making, even when I offered for him to come along. I do feel bad, just because I know he doesn't deserve to have to stay with me and not be able to go out and stuff, and i understand his argument, but at the same time i know we both deserve a night to ourselves.

"i do trust you sunshine, it's savannah i don't trust. ," he says, and i almost smile and lose my strong suit against him when he calls me sunshine. i'm no sunshine, but i guess he likes to pretend i am.

"m' just asking for one night," i whisper as he sets his bowl in the sink, rolling his neck. he makes direct eye contact with me and i give him a weary smile, pulling at his strings so i can just have one single night without thinking about him, and how utterly inviting every single thing he does is. i think i finally realized it last night, that he's someone i never been around before, no one in the world as just confusing as he is. he's utterly insane in every single way, but i also can't keep my mind off of him, and the way his eyes seem to glitter when he looks at me. i just wish he would open up to me a bit more, and show me that it was okay to be comfortable around him.

"you can go for two hours, that's it," he says and i jump on my feet in excitement, him scrunching his nose to keep back his smile. "don't get too excited, if i even see one-off thing from across the street you're coming home, clear?" he says, shooing me off into my room and i smile up at him, brushing my curls back. "crystal...promise i'll be careful," i smile, and he nods, giving me one smirk before he disappears into his room. "thank you," i smile and he stops, nodding, closing the door behind him and i jump onto my bed in my room, calling savannah and telling her we were on. i hear harry talking in his room as i make my way to the shower, but i decide to stay out of it, tangibly the best decision since he seems very private. The hot water seemed to ease all of the stress that had been piling on my chest since we've gotten to Portlyn Villa, and i just hate how much i want this place to be like home, but it just isn't. i've worked hard on pleasing harry and trying to get closer to him, but nothings working.

at this point i'm so exhausted of trying to make everyone happy, i just want this to go well here.

i tried to ask harry the other day how long we'd be here, but it doesn't even seem like he knows himself, and from the way my father talks to him, it seems as if my fathers planning on keeping us here as long as he can, or until i drive myself and harry insane enough that he can move me back to his California mansion. I haven't been around my father for longer than forty minutes since I was at least 14. It wasn't a big surprise for either of us, poe and I, that my father had affairs when we were younger. I mean he auctioned me off as my own affair when I was the same age and,nothing less, my mother did nothing about it at all, as if she was that powerful in the situation. I think it took a long time for me to really try and move past all of what had happened in my childhood, but even now as I sit on my bed, drawing, I find myself thinking of the way my father and his friends touched me, and a sting shot to my scar. i feel like harry potter sometimes.

I could hear harry clonking around in his room across the hall, and I sometimes wonder if he knew. I personally wouldn't put it past my father to tell the one person I had the chance to start over with what my father and his friends would do to me. I jump a little when I head a knock on my door, looking up from the messy pencil sketching of a lake, mimicking the one in view from my window. Harry looks over my newly cleaned room, everything in its place, nowhere near as good as the one at home, but it would do. My computer on my desk had a soft playlist on repeat, and I hum at the familiar tune softly. Harry looks around my room before climbing up the stairs to my bed, sitting at the end, and i sit up a little, frowning at the distance he seemed to be in. I could smell his familiar cologne, and the mint of his breath, but I craved feeling that warm skin, the one that had held me a while ago.