The Boy Who Simped (h.j.p.x reader social media au)

43

IRL

"Ew not the pink toad" Y/n grumbled under her breath as she walked into the DADA classroom.

Her and Zhara took seats beside each other and waited for the lesson to begin.

Y/n had already began zoning out as soon as Umbridge started talking, but raised an eyebrow when she heard Umbridge say they wouldn't be needing their wands.

Hermione's hand shot up into the air, "How can we do magic without our wands?"

"Magic? Why would you need to use magic?"

"Is this bitch serious," Y/n muttered quietly, "ummm maybe because we're at a magic school"

"Students must raise their hands before speaking in my class miss....?"

Y/n didn't reply and just continued staring at Umbridge.

"What is your name?" You could tell by her voice that the professor was getting agitated.

"Candice."

A/n- IM SORRY IF THATS ACTUALLY YOUR NAME I JUST HAD TO MAKE THE JOKE BC ITS SOOOOO FUNNY HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHLAUGH LAUGH LAIGJ LAIBSJ

"Candice, who?"

Y/n smirked, "Candice dic-"

She was cut off by Zhara placing her hand over Y/n's mouth.

"And you are?" Umbridge asked, exasperated.

"Zhara Redekop"

"And who is your friend?"

"Y/n Diggory"

"Shhh don't tell her my name! She might murder me or put a curse on me or something!" Y/n whispered loudly.

"Ahh, Diggory" Umbridge almost snarled.

Y/n gave a look of disgust.

"Now that we're over that distraction, you will be learning magic in a safe, risk-free environment"

"Well, what's the point of that when in the real world, it won't be risk-free" Harry shot.

"Who would want to hurt you children?" Umbridge said in that sickly sweet voice.

"Hmm oh, I don't know, let's just ponder for a moment... who would want to hurt us... mmm maybe lord Voldemort?" Harry said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

Y/n stifled a chuckle in her seat.

Umbridge sighed, "I know you are under this false illusion that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back-"

"He is back! I saw him! I fought him!"

"He is not back!"

"Oh so according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead on his own accord?" At this, Y/n tensed up.

"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident"

"Just like your face! #girlboss" Y/n said and held out her hand for Zhara to high-five. And when Zhara didn't return the high five, Y/n turned around and high fived Dean Thomas instead.

"Detention Ms. Diggory!" Umbridge exclaimed.

"Cedric Diggory was killed by Voldemort! I saw it! I was there!" Harry spat.

"Detention for you as well Mr. Potter!"

"I, for one, believe Harry" Y/n stated.

"Ms. Diggory! Out of my classroom!" Umbridge demanded.

"Gladly" Y/n stood up and made her way towards the door, but suddenly just fell to the ground, closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue, "is that how my brother died, professor?" She asked in a pouty sarcastic voice.

"OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!" Umbridge shrieked.

Y/n held up her hands in surrender and left. Only to be joined by Harry a few minutes later.

She raised her eyebrows in silent question.

"Kept arguing with Umbitch"

"Umbitch... I like that" Y/n grinned.

"I got detention every night next week" Harry shrugged.

"omg same lol"

"Lol soulmate tings"

"What?"

"What?"

"Anywayssss, I do believe you. Of course Cedric didn't just 'drop dead' and I hardly believe you have it in you to kill someone..."

"Oh uh- thanks"

"No, thank you for bringing him back"

"Of course" Harry placed a hesitant hand on her shoulder, expecting her to move away or push his hand off, but, to his surprise, she slightly leaned into the embrace.

Their 'moment' however, was interrupted by an angry Umbridge storming out of the class to talk to the two about their actions and the punishment behind them.

A/n- my room smells like a hotel in winter.