One Shots ~ Harry Styles

// Don't Go //

A/N - *going to pretend like I didn't cry while writing this*

and, im once again gonna make your day sadderrrr, sorryyy, but I had tooo

I held his large hand in both of my much smaller ones, his long, slender fingers fiddling with mine as we both sat in silence. There was nothing to say. Well, that's a lie, there was everything to say, just neither of us knew where to begin. He sighed and stopped playing with my fingers, instead taking a firm grasp on my hands with his frail ones. I rested both of my elbows on the side of the bed and looked at him.

"I've got so much to say to you," he said, "I just don't know where to start".

"I know baby" I said, traces of sadness lacing my voice.

"It was never supposed to be like is, we were supposed to be together forever, happy, free. Living out our lives until we are old and grey, out children and grandchildren surrounding us while we sit and watch them, now I won't even get to see our little boy grow up" he said, a small tear slipping out his eye and sliding down his pale, hollow cheek. I breathed out gently and brushed the tear away from his cheek. He leaned in to my touch so I left my hand there, gently rubbing my finger back and forth. I didn't know what to say. He was right, he would never see his son grow up, he would never get to play football with him, show him how to treat women, teach him to sing. He would never get to hold his baby boy in his arms. Harry had wanted a child since we got married, but I wanted us to settle down and get used to married life before we rushed in to anything, but looking back, that is the biggest mistake I had ever made. If I had given in to Harry's wishes sooner he would have seen 3 years of his child's life before he had his ripped so cruelly from him.

"I can do this on my own Harry" I said, looking down at the hospital bed and closing my eyes tightly. I needed to be the strong one here, I couldn't let him see me cry when he was in so much pain. Harry sighed and placed his hand on my chin, lifting my head so my eyes could meet his.

"My gorgeous girl, of anyone on this planet, you are the only one who can do this. You are going to be the most amazing mother to our little boy and you will never be alone. You have your mum, my mum, the boys and me. Sure I might not be there in person, but I will always be watching over you. Just promise me something?" He asked.

"Anything" I said.

"Promise you will tell him about me, promise you will tell him about his dad?" He said. I smiled.

"You don't even need to ask curly," I said, "your little boy will know everything about his amazing, kind, loving father. I'll show him pictures, tell him stories, and when he is old enough, I will give him your letter". Harry had written a letter to our little boy, explaining everything. How his body was destroying him from the inside out, how the tumour had started in his chest and had spread throughout the body until there was nothing the doctors could do but give him a limit on how long he had to live. Deep down, both of us knew that this was out last day together, we knew once he fell asleep tonight, he wouldn't wake up in the morning. The man laying in front of me is a shell of my beautiful boy. He is thin and his skin has taken on a sickly grey colour. There is no strength left in his once well built body and every slight movement causes him pain. Despite the fact he won't admit it, I know that even the simple act of him holding my hand is causing him immense pain, but I won't say anything because even if I did he would deny it and I'm too selfish, I don't want him to let my hand go because I know after tonight, I won't be able to hold it ever again.

"I've never told you, but you have made me the happiest man alive. I have loved you from the day I set eyes on you. You have given me everything I have ever wanted and I will never be able to thank you enough" he said. He opened his mouth to say more but instead began coughing violently. I sat up to rub his chest and continued to hold his hand until he could breath normally again. Well, as normally as a dying man can breath. It is a terrifying thing, to think that my Harry is slipping through my fingers, to think that I will never wake up with him beside me again, I'll never get to hear him sing again, never get to listen to one of his horrible jokes, never fall asleep wrapped safely in his arms while his breath fans my neck and his fingers trace my baby bump. I'll never get to hear him say 'I love you' whether it be while we are watching tv or making love.

"And I never told you," I said, my voice cracking from unshed tears which were pooling in the corners of my eyes and blurring my view of my beautiful boy, "that you are everything I have ever wanted and more. You've made me feel loved, and wanted and cherished and you mean to world to me. I will never love anyone like I love you" I said, the tears slowly starting to spill from my eyes.

"You must promise me you will move on baby. Promise me you will find someone new who will love you nearly as much as I do" he said, his sentence broken up by coughs and gasps for air. The heart monitor beside his bed began to slow, the rhythmic beats of his heart slowly becoming less frequent. He was slipping away from me, and I'm not ready. I shook my head.

"I can't promise that" I said and he looked at me, his dull green eyes as breathtaking as ever.

"You must" he said.

"I won't" I replied. He started to cough again and his heart rate slowed down even more. His grip on my hand loosened and I cried harder.

"Harry please don't leave me, I need you here, I need you with me" I sobbed, lacing my fingers through his in a desperate effort to keep him close to me. I stood to my feet so that I was leaning over him.

"I'm sorry baby, I don't think I have much choice" his frail voice said, his eyes drooping.

"No Harry you can't! You can't leave me! I won't let you" I said loudly.

"I love you Y/N, so much" he whispered his eyes closing and his heart monitor slowing to a dangerous pace.

"I love you Harry, so will our baby" I cried.

Harry used all his remaining energy to placing his hand on my stomach and he tried to force a small smile on to his lips.

"Look after him for me, I'm sure he will grow up to be just as amazing as his mother. I love you both". From inside my stomach, one sharp, strong kick was felt right were Harry's hand was placed. My eyes widened and I looked a Harry to see a real smile on his face. This was the first time he had kicked, and just for his dad. "See babe, he is going to be a feisty one, just like you" he wheezed before his hand slipped from my stomach and on to the bed, his heart monitor emitting one loud, long tone. He was gone. My boy had left me here alone.

"No. No no no Harry please! Harry come one don't leave me, I can't do this without you, Harry please" I cried, my voice coming out in strangled sobs. I placed one hand on my stomach and the other over my mouth. Our boy kicked again.

"You're wrong Harry, he will grow up to be just as amazing as his father" I chocked, taking his hand in mine one last time. Three nurses rushed in to the room and I was gently taken by the arm and led away. I turned back in time to see them switching off the machine and covering my boys face with a sheet.

"I love you Harry, always have, always will" I whispered before I broke down in hysterical cries, the door to Harry's hospital room closing behind me.