Marcel turning Harry. L.S

20. Confessions

Harry

"Are you quite done with the goodbyes? Can we finally go now?" Louis asks with his hands in his pockets when Niall is out of sight, heading home. My tries to get eye contact failed miserably as he wouldn't stop looking at the street to his right.

"Everything alright?" Is what I settle for instead, not wanting him all moody at home. I mean the Tomlinson house. Louis home.

"Just peachy" Guess we will be dealing with a moody Louis after all...

All the way home he kept two steps ahead of me and did not even try to start a conversation. All his answers consisted of a shrug of the shoulders or in the bast case a "yes", "no", or "mhmm". I felt my own anger bubbling up in me. And I don't get angry. I get sad, confused or irritated, not angry. But for once he is dancing on all my nerves, at the same time, to a very upbeat song.

"Louis, what's wrong" I say as soon as we enter his room, closing the door behind us even tho we are the only ones at home. Dammit Harry, Louis home. Not your home. Louis' home.

"Nothing"

"For fuck sake Louis, either you stop the sulking or tell me what I did to limit your vocabulary to 'yes, no, nothing.' "

"Don't play smart with me Harry" now he is finally looking at me, at least something was achieved by my confrontation. But there is no way I'm letting him off with a 'Nothing'.

"I'm not playing fucking smart, you refuse to talk to me, I'm at least trying to solve this, unlike you." My voice got a bit louder than expected, but I force my face back into a frown and wait for his brilliant retreat.

"You are not the only one trying Harry, I'm also trying, for fuck sake" his voice matched my tone, but he continued by being just a tiny bit louder. "It's like I don't know you anymore, going around and having friends with benefits, fucking Kendall, fucking your ex, who else did you fuck in the US Harry, huh? Any more of your special friends coming to visit??" He is practically screaming the last part. And I'm not going to cower away for having consensual sex.

"It is NONE of your concern who I have sex with. You have NO right judging my decisions of who I'm with. Just like I don't judge your stupid, wanna be in love, relationship with Eleanor" I snap back

"Don't bring her into this. Who are you even anymore?"

"Are you fucking kidding me Louis? Don't come here questioning who I am when you haven't known me since forever. You stopped hanging out with me. You decided that you didn't want to know me. And guess what, you don't anymore. You don't know who the fuck I am. And honestly, I don't know who the fuck you are!" I practically scream at him. What I didn't see coming was his two quick step towards me. I registered his hand lifting up, and I flinched away. It wasn't my intention, but I mistook his pointing finger, for a hitting hand.

The room suddenly went silent. Time stopped. And I slowly bought my hands down and opened my eyes. I'm met by a frozen Louis, finger still pointed at me, but jaw open, eyes full of regret and sorrow.

"I-" He doesn't finish his sentence but takes a couple quick steps back. Holding his hands to his chest and shakes his head looking at the floor in disbelief. I know he wouldn't hit me agin. But old habits die hard. It was a simple surviving reflex I couldn't control.

"I'm sorry Louis, I know you wouldn't-" I don't get to finish my sentence

"But I did"

"Lou..."

"But I did Harry, I hit you for years. I just- How could I. I don't deserve you. You should pack your bags and get as far away from me as you can. Niall was right, you'll have to live with my mistakes for all of your life" I see the tears starting to spill over from his still shocked eyes, making the blue even bluer. I slowly approach him, scared he will be the one to flinch away this time. Slowly I wipe away some of his tears with my thumb, and keep stroking his jaw as I start to talk.