crying laughing at the comments. idk why i do updates, you guys as my audience/readers make me feel safe — the safest i've ever felt ngl. even though you all are usernames on an app, i feel like we're all a lil community. anyways ... i see comments on that one photo of me and i thought "i wanna show them how i currently look (well not my face but yk)"
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this was taken on new year's eve (31 dec 2021) and honestly i love my fit. also yes, that is sangwoo next to my mirror and. a bunch of jjk + haikyuu prints.
the cardigan and shirt was thrifted, the mock turtle neck is from hollister, the shirt is f21, the leggings and socks were my moms when she was my age, the necklace is a rose quartz and i bought the earrings from a former upperclassman of mine when i was a sophomore in high school 🙃
also i have covid again — but i'm okay it's not that bad. im just missing two weeks of school which is high key refreshing because of this guy who really makes me hate myself. but i listened to she's so gone from lemonade mouth and that shit CHANGED me
(update. the guy gave me more false hope last week, saying "you don't know how we'll end up or what we'll do together and neither do i. it's all in due time" so in response i said "yeah :/ you're right — and honestly it probably was never meant to be" and he just had to say "well you can't say that. we will never know what will happen". anyways, i didn't talk to him all day and my friend told me that he told him that he's in love with the other girl. he actually told her he loves her and she loves him back and that he sees a future with her (even tho we're like fucking eighteen????) all after telling me this. i know i made this fanfic to be a sad romance trope but i didn't think i'd be experiencing it myself)
but i feel so drained and empty in a way. idk maybe i'm over reacting but i feel like there's nothing left to live for and everything is so dull and boring. i feel like there's nothing for me to stress over or want to get better at, all i want is to just lay down in bed, read or write fanfic, and drink my iced latte that i cannot taste bc of this damn covid 😭
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