Chapter 12

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First Period. (And approximately 28 days till Christmas). I tap on my desk with the eraser of my mechanical pencil. I actually hate mechanical pencils, but there's not much to do when you don't have your own and are forced to steal a pencil from the kid seated at the front of class. I sigh. I honestly hate having math first period. I honestly hate not having math with Mikey anymore. And I honestly hate that the teacher just told me to put the one fucking problem on the board that I don't know. She couldn't have picked problem 14 or 16 that I actually do know.

No.

She had to say "Luke, please put number 15 on the board for us." God dang it. I walk up to the front of the room, trying my hardest to get the problem right. It's probably one of the worst feelings in your high school career. I want people to think of me as that smart soccer player, but in all honesty, I barely manage my 4.0 grade point average. I put some stupid answer on the board. (x= -2, which I know isn't right but what else am I supposed to do?) I trudge back to my seat in the ultimate shame. It wasn't even a hard problem. Algebra 3 at the highest. I'm just so stressed out anymore. She looks the problem through before turning to me.

"Luke, in what world is four times two eighteen?" She raises an eyebrow at me. I groan as the class giggles at my math mistake.

"In my world." I mutter.

"Well, this isn't your world, there sweetheart. It's reality. And in reality, four times two is eight," She teases. "No, but that's an honest mistake, I'm sure you just wrote an accidental one there." She erases the board, doing the problem correctly. Great. I glance over at Mikey's empty seat. I don't like it. I don't like the instant thought of death that comes with it. He dropped out because he's dying, not because he wanted to. He would have told the class to shove a sock in it when they laughed. He would...

"Lucas?" The teacher's voice snaps me to attention. "Please pay attention, sweetie." She smiles at me, a knowing look in her eyes. I nod. I zone out again, jumping when the bell rings. I gather my stuff.

"Luke, can you wait for a bit, please?" She asks nicely. I nod lightly, heading back to her desk. "Are you feeling okay? You've been making a lot of little mistakes that aren't normal for you."

"Yeah," I say, my voice sounding higher than normal. I'm just so worried all the damn time about how Michael is doing. I want to cry. I can feel the time pressure already, and I'm wasting my time here, and not with him, "I'm okay."

"Just let me know if you need anything. Okay?"

"Alright, thanks." I force a smile before practically running from the room.

Third Period. I sit next to Calum, trying to read the book that we just started. Calum leans over the desk towards me.

"Not that it's my business, but who tops?" He raises one dark eyebrow at me. I don't really look at him, or pay that much attention to him.

"Me." I answer, writing down an answer in the As You Read section. "Wait, what?"

"You top? I never pictured you as a top. Did you top that other dude?" Calum's eyes go wide in shock.

"What? No." I shake my head. Why is he even talking about this, the weirdo.

"So you're a bottom?"

"No."

"So you topped? Oh, so you're usually a bottom but he was a virgin so you topped him so that...oh. I got ya." He puts his chin in his hand. "So what's it like?"

"What is what like?"

"Is guy sex like girl anal or..."

"Jesus Christ, Calum!" I roll my eyes. "You need help. Seriously, go to a sex addicts anonymous meeting or something. I'll drive you, I'll pay for counseling."

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