Chapter 3 - Feeding

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Amber hadn't really thought about what life would be like as a vampire. She knew the basics - no sunlight, drink blood, quicker healing, can't breathe, heightened senses and so on. 

She didn't realise that she still has to brush her teeth like normal, or that human food has no nutritional benefit anymore. The idea of drinking blood is intriguing. Every fibre of her brain tells her it's wrong and gross; yet she yearns to taste it.  

"I can't do it!" Amber yells, frustrated, plopping herself down on Spike's bed.

"Yes, you can!" He yells back, "Ok, calm down. Focus."

Amber has been living with Spike for 3 days now. Willow and Tara visited twice: once with muffins and once with some card games to keep her occupied. She was grateful to know her friends still cared about her but she felt bad. She felt bad that she felt bad. She felt like things would never be the same between them all. Xander came to visit too, yesterday, but it didn't go so well. He went into a whole overprotective speech about how if Spike hurt her he'd stake him in his sleep which was cowardly but sweet. Anyway, Amber got embarrassed, Spike got angry... It was a whole thing.

But Spike's surprisingly helpful to Amber. They aren't best friends by any means but they try to get along. They spend hours talking when Amber can't sleep - adjusting to sleeping in the day and being awake at night is hard.

"I'm tryyyyying! I just can't do it. I can't get bumpy." Amber lays down, defeated. She's been attempting to go all 'vamp face' for an hour now and nothing's worked.

"What you need is a real human. Some actual food to get you excited, instead of packets of pigs blood you've gingerly been sipping from." Spike eyes the door.

"No. No, I can't. You know I can't." 

"You can and you will," he says, grabbing her hand and pulling her over to the exit. Spike had been aching and pestering to get out and teach her how to feed but Amber refused each time. She has a soul and knows it's wrong. Even feeding slightly and not killing fills her with alarm. Now though, Amber just wants to prove to herself (and Spike) that she can achieve vamp face. As well as being essential for feeding, it looks super cool. 

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It is cold. A silent darkness cloaks Sunnydale and the only sound audible is the occasional rumble of a car engine. The streets are like this until the pair get closer to The Bronze. The pungent stench of alcohol forces its way into Amber's nostrils as the sound of booming party music becomes more apparent. Spike's arm brushes against Amber's. If she's going to do this, at least she's doing it with the best of the best. 

A clearly drunken couple stagger out of the club, sloppily kissing. Amber barely contains her disgust as the girl whispers to the guy and they stumble further down an alleyway. An easy target. Spike has spotted them by this point too and heads over without saying anything. After a moments hesitation, she follows him, wringing her hands nervously. 

"Quit being so nervous." Spike commands, watching her over his shoulder. "You should be excited, raring to go!" 

"Shut up." Is her response.

The couple hide away in an alley, blissfully unaware of the danger that's going to interrupt their make out session. 

"Shouldn't we maybe go for one person? You can't feed or fight or -"

Spike cuts her off. "Grab the guy and scare the girl."

"Scare her with what?"

"It's time to get bumpy." 

'Great,' she thinks. There's no turning back now. Spike makes the first move and blocks the only exit, back to The Bronze. They don't notice anything until Amber takes her place next to him, clumsily crunching a twig as she does so. Their heads snap up in unison. Their faces are plastered with confusion which quickly turns to fear as they notice Spike's face. 

"Hey guys." Spike says cheerfully, clearly enjoying himself. He may have a chip in his head, but it doesn't stop him from being a smarmy git, "I was just wondering if my friend here would be able to suck your blood and leave you for dead?"

Amber actually stifles a giggle. Unexpectedly, the boy charges at Spike but Spike grabs him by the back of his jacket, spinning him out of the alley with impressive ease.

"Change of plan. Go for the girl." He advises, flicking his tongue over his pointed canines. 

Instinct takes over. She may have a soul but is still a vampire. Amber roughly grabs the girl by the shoulders, cutting her scream short by deeply sinking her fangs into her flesh. The warm rush of blood is like liquid adrenaline. A feeling like no other. The moment of impulse is gone and her rationality fights for control. She lets the girl go and she drops limply to the floor. 

"Come on," Spike appears next to her and whispers directly in her ear, "Finish."

Amber turns round, face to face with Spike. He's closer than she expected. 

"I may be a monster, but I'm not a killer."

"Suit yourself." he says, not moving away. Silence. "Well, we might as well go then, if you're gonna be such a tease."

"A tease?" She repeats, "A tease? Did you really expect me to kill her?!"

"Maybe." He shrugs, and turns, walking back the way they came. "And hey! You went all toothy and grrr!"

"Yeah." She hadn't even noticed. Spike was right, maybe she did need an actual reason to go vampy. She stops, guiltily looming over the girl. 

"She'll be fine, Amber!"

She checks for a pulse, finds it, and flees.

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