Lexi's Final Year

Chapter 3

Cassie sat on her bed inside her bedroom, examining the many stuffed cardboard boxes lying about on the floor. She had spent the past couple of days organizing and packing up as much of her stuff as needed for her impending move back to New York City. She was going to live with Mariana in the same apartment they had rented out last year. A small grin crept onto her face at the thought of living with her best friend again.

The sound of a text notification caught Cassie's ears. She grabbed her phone, only for her newfound grin to disappear in a flash.

Karla: Hey, I won't be able to join you and your father to help you move in. Work's gotten too busy. Sorry!

Cassie rolled her eyes and scoffed. Her mother was never the type to keep a promise, especially one she made to her own daughter. So, it came as no surprise that she'd back out of their plans at the last minute.

I'll never understand why my mother can't prioritize me. Then again, it's not my fucking problem as far as I'm concerned, Cassie thought.

She promptly shrugged off the text without even bothering to reply. She chose instead to check and see if she'd forgotten to pack anything. A couple of items previously not packed were shoved into one of the many boxes that sat on her bedroom floor. Fortunately, she hadn't missed much in her initial packing.

Once satisfied, Cassie sat back on her bed. Her father was still at his factory job and wouldn't be home for a few more hours. She had the house all to herself until he finally came home. They would then pack up his van and then make the long drive from Buffalo to New York City.

Cassie closed her hazel eyes as her thoughts drifted off to her previous year at New York University. Her outburst at last year's end-of-semester party had been a massive wake-up call as to how toxic her behaviour had been. It manifested inside her head, only to bubble out and lead to her hurting others. It took her much longer to realize how awful she had been— but at least she'd finally opened her eyes to reality.

The first thing Cassie had done once returning to Buffalo was find a therapist. Her options were limited due to working a minimum wage job. She also didn't want to ask her father to pay for it because his funds were stretched rather thin already. She could've asked her mother for help but didn't trust her enough to actually follow through on helping.

Luckily, Cassie managed to find a free therapy program shortly after beginning her search. The free therapy program was run by a local non-profit called Buffalo Counselling Services, and it offered both in-person and virtual therapy options. It was hard to get a session due to the overwhelming demand from others seeking their services, but she had managed to snag monthly sessions with the same therapist, a fiftysomething woman named Dr. Anna Rich.

During her sessions with Dr. Rich, Cassie had learned a lot about herself through discussing her past. She'd learned that while her relationship with her mother would most likely never fully heal, it wasn't her fault that that was the case. She'd also received a mental health diagnosis that helped explain most of why she'd been acting out.

"It sounds like you have general anxiety, as well as BPD— borderline personality disorder," Dr. Rich had explained during their second session together. "The abandonment from your mother definitely played a big role in this. It also makes sense that you have this from some of the things you've done in the past— self-image issues, mood swings, losing your temper frequently, and dealing with unstable relationships."

Cassie's heart had sunk upon hearing this. While it was nice to have an answer to her bad behaviour, it didn't cushion the blow.

"Many people with BPD live normal, fulfilling lives," Dr. Rich had assured in a calming voice. "If you take the proper steps and do what you need to do, I believe you can also."