The Blue Hours Passed | Beomjun

Chapter 7: Must Be Fate - Yeonjun

"I'm Huening Kai," says the boy sitting across from Yeonjun. "And this is Taehyun and Soobin. We've all been here for around three weeks now."

The dining hall of the psychiatric ward fits around thirty patients in total. After choosing a seat with Beomgyu, they were joined by the three boys.

"I'm Yeonjun. This is Beomgyu, my best friend."

Huening Kai's eyes widen. "You're here with your best friend? It must be fate."

Yeonjun picks at the plate below him, pushing around his scrambled eggs, bacon and rice. He can't help a smile from forming. "Yeah, you could say that."

Beomgyu stirs beside him. He's barely touched his plate, and that worries Yeonjun. "I don't know if I should ask why you're all here," Beomgyu says.

"It's okay to ask," Taehyun replies. "I'm here because of my anxiety attacks."

"Depression for me," Huening Kai says, offsetting the info with a smile.

"I've been having delusions," Soobin says. "Thinking that I'm famous or being watched.... What about you two?"

Beomgyu describes his episode, starting from weeks ago, and his spiraling until finding himself hopeless and not wanting to live.

"What about you, Yeonjun?" Taehyun.

"Um." Food gets stuck in his throat, and he struggles to swallow. "Same as Beomgyu."

Huening Kai's brows shoot up. "Wow. So you two are best friends."

Yeonjun doesn't want to ask what that means. The five boys finish up their food, commenting on what they want to do when they're discharged. Yeonjun takes it as a good sign. If they're looking forward to the future, that means that there must be some hope. Like an ember that won't be snuffed out.

"I want to have a sleepover with Yeonjun," Beomgyu says. "That's the first thing I want to do."

Taehyun snickers, hand cupping around a glass of orange juice. "Are you sure you two are only friends?"

Soobin and Huening Kai share knowing looks, the latter also stifling a giggle.

"Yes?" Beomgyu says. His unsurety is kind of adorable. Yeonjun would laugh too if he wasn't worrying about the unchanged status of Beomgyu's plate.

The three other boys leave for their free time, stepping out to the open-air courtyard to play basketball. As the patients leave one by one, Yeonjun stays by Beomgyu's side. He watches him eat. Yeonjun has never seen Beomgyu lose his appetite until now.

"They seem pretty nice," Yeojun comments. He watches as Beomgyu quiets, his face crestfallen.

"What's wrong?" Yeonjun says. Beomgyu has always been the loudest person in the room, talking when everyone else tires and doesn't know what to say. Yeonjun remembers their many calls after midnight, when he struggled against heavy lids to hear Beomgyu tell the same story for the twelfth time. He's always loved the way Beomgyu could fill the empty space, making both friends and strangers feel comfortable.

"What if I never get better?" Beomgyu says.

Yeonjun's heart breaks on seeing his friend with such worry swirling in his wide eyes. "You will," he says. You have to.

Beomgyu nods, taking another small bite. Then he pushes his plate away. He swipes a hand over his eyes, and it comes back wet.

Yeonjun scoots closer, hugging Beomgyu like they're twelve again, and holding each other is natural and easy. Yeonjun savors the way Beomgyu's head rests on his shoulder, ignoring the stares of the nurses and other patients. Beomgyu's hands are cold, but Yeonjun focuses on the warmth of his friend's chest and the way they syncopate their breathing.

Yeonjun wants to confess right here. I like you. Hell, I love you. I've always wanted to tell you. But the timing isn't right. He will keep it in for just a little while longer, the dam holding back the waters of his emotions.

Yeonjun holds Beomgyu's hand as they exit the dining hall into the courtyard. It's quite cold, so the nurses hand them padded coats. Yeonjun helps Beomgyu pull it over his green scrubs, after he gets dressed himself.

They sit together on a bench, watching as the other kids play basketball, volleyball, or soccer. Some are jumping rope on the outskirts. Beomgyu slumps back, and Yeonjun pulls as close as he can dare, not letting him go.

"You should play," Beomgyu says.

"Only if you play," Yeonjun says.

To his surprise, Beomgyu stands up. "I was always better than you at basketball."

And so they join Huening Kai, Taehyun, and Soobin. One of the male nurses joins Beomgyu and Yeonjun's team. With each minute that passes, the game's intensity grows until it's surprisingly heated. Yeonjun sweats, trying to swerve around the members of the opposing team.

"Pass!" Beomgyu shouts, sounding surprisingly like his usual self. "Hyung. Pass!"

Yeonjun dodges Taehyun's outstretched hands. He passes the basketball through Taehyun's legs, watching it bounce right into Beomgyu's hands.

Beomgyu shoots before Huening Kai can jump up to block. The ball swooshes into the net, and the male nurse cheers as if they've won the world cup. Beomgyu smiles, but before long it's replaced with the dispirit that has been haunting him.

Beomgyu retires soon after, and Yeonjun follows him back into the kitchen.

"I want banana milk," Beomgyu explains. He requests it from the nurse, who finds two bottles in the fridge. Beomgyu passes one to Yeonjun.

Yeonjun sips. He hopes Beomgyu's favorite drink will raise his spirits. Of course, it's not that simple. Beomgyu worried about when it will end. Yeonjun knows the other boy will get better, but it might take a lot of time. And even then, depression is something that can haunt a person for years and years. He has to put trust in the medical team here. If they can correct the wayward chemicals in Beomgyu's brain, and help him manage his mood, Yeonjun will be immensely relieved.

Beomgyu is not just his best friend. He is his world. This is just another hurdle they'll climb over together. Though they cannot yet see the other side, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And yes, Beomgyu, I'd love another sleepover.

Who else is crazily excited for the upcoming TXT World Tour? I wish all of you luck in getting tickets!