-One last kiss- (miles Fairchild x Reader)

7. Hes not him

The time is 9:00 pm, I settled down into bed with a book 'the goldfinch' By Donna Tarrt. My light was still on.. I closed my eyes for a moment and I guess I had fallen asleep.

I awoke to a hand touching my face, I grabbed it quickly and harshly. "What the-" I was cutoff, I looked up at the person peering over me, it was miles.. I really didn't want to talk to him right now. I didn't want to talk to him ever. "There was a spider on you, It was making its way up to your face"

I looked at his hand and saw a small spider crawling on it, I grabbed the spider out of his hand and let it crawl around it, until it rested in my palm for a moment, I clapped my hand together, killing it. I kept a straight face and looked at miles who looked shocked by my actions. "Miles, im not a child, and I'm not afraid of spiders." "Are you afraid of anything?" he knew the answer to this question.. why the hell would he ask. He chuckled a bit and sat next to me. "You," I thought to myself, not saying anything "You and quint." I shivered and we sat in silence for a moment before I got up abruptly, walking around my bed and bending down to grab his sweater he had let me borrow that day.

MILES POV
She handed me my sweater, I shook my head, "you keep it," gently pushing her hands closer to her the sweater still in them. I continued, as she sputtered on her words, "m-miles I can't-" "it looks better on you" I smiled slightly and got up to leave. "Miles.." her small voice called out to me, like a siren.. "what is it?" I looked back at her, she turned red in the face. I wondered the things she thought.. I wondered so much about her.. "I.. uhm.."

the girl fidgeted with her fingers. "What." I said slightly annoyed, but I wasn't annoyed.. I wanted to talk to her.. I wanted to know what she was going to say.. Suddenly I felt angry, I hated when this happened.. When I got mad for nothing.. if she hated me before she was gonna despise me now. I couldn't control myself when I got angry, not the normal type of loosing self control, when I get mad.. everything goes black. And the every sound begins to irritate me, everything gets so loud and I can't breathe. It scares me when I get mad.. I scare me. The sound of her nails tapping as my breathing got loud, so loud it enveloped the entire room in the sound, I couldn't stand it, it was so fucking loud. I wanted it to stop, stop stop stop please god.... Everything, was so, Loud.

   !!!!!⚠️ TW! VIOLENCE, RAPE!!! INSINUATION OF PEDOPHILIA, SOMEONE HEARING UNREAL VOICES, PANIC ATTACK!!!!⚠️

Everything went quiet.. I knew what was next.. I didn't wanna hurt her, but I could hear my voices, the ones I had in my head.. "hit her.." I could hear them whispering "shes annoying" "make her shut up" "I know you want to touch her, miles.. who's stopping you miles.. a pathetic little girl like that, you could rape her so easily.. Finish my job, miles.. we're so much alike even she thinks so" the voice.. it's quint. It's always quint. He wouldn't leave me alone, he wouldn't get out of my head "shut up... shut up.." I was muttering and holding my head.. I probably looked crazy to her.. she looked at me shocked. I ran to her and grabbed her wrist, hard. As the noises around me got louder, quint got louder.. Her look changed from shock to fear, I was what she was afraid of I jerked her wrist a little before looking right at her.. realizing the face she was making.. she looked up at me through her hair teary eyed, her lips quivering.. she looked like a lost kitten.. i could feel my face soften while I looked at her scared eyes.

Y/N POV!!
"M-Miles.." i said quietly, "what is it?" He said.. I just wanted to say thank you.. why couldn't I spit it out.. "i.. uhm.." I looked slightly up at him, but.. his mood had completely changed from before, he started holding his head and muttering something before running toward me and grabbing my wrist.. he grabbed it so hard it began to hurt.. what was wrong with him.. why was he so angry, now? was it something I'd done? Maybe I was annoying him.. I didn't mean to "I'm s-" I started but stopped to look at miles while he started to look down at me, I looked at him through my hair, I was scared, scared of him.. fear filled my eyes and body, i was shaking.. I felt as though my eyes where shaking as they met his, his dark eyes where filled with rage but when I stared at him he only took a moment before his eyes softened as he dropped my wrist.. He looked, scared. why was he scared? Maybe of himself..? I'm so confused.. miles is so, so confusing..

I grabbed my wrist and stroked it, a red ring where his fingers where stayed behind as he turned away and walked out.

Again, I did it, again, I stood there. I didn't move. Miles could've easily done anything he wanted to. I stood there, like I did that day. I didn't move, i didn't scream, i stood there and let him grab me like that.

I got back in bed and began to cry as I curled into a ball of my own pity.

if he had touched me.. i know I wouldn't have done anything to stop him...

(Sorry if this chapter sucked- I felt like I was making miles to Much of a soft charecter- so I wanted to change him a little by showing a dark side like in the movie also, a lot of Kate's scenes will be replaced by you! And this is definitely not like very well acquainted with the movie, like this is taking place instead of the movie if that makes any sense :) )