IX - Amends

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  I woke up crying, turning my back on  Dream, who I felt kneeling down besides me

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I woke up crying, turning my back on Dream, who I felt kneeling down besides me. I tried shoving the tears away with my shaky palms, harshly, as if I could wipe my emotions off my face as well. Holding them back made my temples feel close to imploding.

Out of all the things I felt, the shame struck me most. Never did I want to think about the habit I'd developed over time, escaping my life through my dreams, whilst simultaneously dreaming on how to escape life. So I shut my mind off each time I did it, but Morpheus could reach through my blockade and tear me apart from the inside. His presence next to mine and his calming gaze burning my skin, making me go up in flames. I was hugging my own body awfully tight.

How else could you fix this mess that was my own head? I wish I could find another solution.
I'd only ever seen this one escape.

"I didn't intend to hurt you."
He spoke quietly and I could only nod.

God, let me stop crying. Why won't I stop crying? I wanted to tell him that it was okay, though it would be yet another lie.

A few days ago, the man kneeling besides my bed had been a mere dream. Now the same dream made me realize just how much my life had become a nightmare.

It was when my shoulders slowly stopped shaking as if an earthquake rippled through my body, that I noticed the hand holding on to my upper arm, pulling softly to make me turn. I looked back at him, my vision a blurred mess. His face looked serious as he let go off me.

"I could make it better." It wasn't a question, but he asked. How much worse could it get?
I slowly nodded, fully turning to him.
That's when he shifted closer, laying his cold hand on my hair. I looked up at him, waiting.

His free hand momentarily disappeared before me, when he stretched out his fist above my beating heart. Golden sand poured down on me, and I didn't even have to close my eyes.

The dull white walls of my small apartment seemed to disintegrate into gold particles, the rest of my furniture stood still in the middle of a quiet cemetery field. Morpheus looked behind me, making me follow his gaze, looking back at the sky. My heart opened wide, the last bit of tears I had left leaving my eyes more of joy than of sorrow. I saw the both of us standing at Jessemy's grave, quietly talking. It was then that I stopped him from moving and he lifted his hand up in the air.

He manipulated dreams time for me, making me watch the same sunset once again. It should've gotten repetitive, but some things just weren't short-lived.
Some things you never get used to.

I had once seen my father hug my mother in the dark of the kitchen, taking her into his arms as if he could shield her from all the bad that had been happening to the both of them. It was me, happening to the both of them. I was the burden. But that was besides the point.

𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞 | 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐮𝐬Where stories live. Discover now