Acquiescence of Diamond

Chapter 12

Warning: Explicit Content (Bad Language)

             I was crying in my parents embrace when I felt all the pain and thought of all the reasons I have for what I did. Naiiyak ako sa katotohanang nakipaghiwalay ako kay Chander sa mismong bagong taon.

             We were there. His mother got along with me, my life was settling down to be better. Then that one fucking dinner happened that made me think of everything.

             The changes I have to make to fit in. The tiredness from all the judgements. The expectations I have to reach. The standard I should be. The things I don't have but must have. My personal issues.

             "Hindi ko kaya maging Almaz, Ma." I sobbed again as I recalled the words over dinner.

             They both hovered my back as I cried river in their arms. "Ang hirap pala. Nakakapagod." I feel like everything drained and questioned me. That one heck of a dinner made me question my whole existence. "Maybe I should fix my life first?"

             "Daya, nak. Maayos ka naman na a? Wala na mang kulang sayo. Wala ng aayusin pa sayo, nak." Mama's calming voice made my tears flowed more.

             Dad hovered over my hair and kissed it, "There's nothing more to change in you. You already fixed it all by yourself. You're already enough." I sobbed at the last words of my father. That's what Chander was telling me too.

             "But wala akong pinag-aralan. Hindi ako malinis. Hindi ako maipagmamalaki. Ni wala akong pangarap."

             "Hindi naman iyon kailangan sa relasyon a?" Mama asked as a matter of factly and hovered my back again

              While Dad sighed, "What you said can be fixed if you really want to. You can still go to school—

              "Masasayang lang oras ko at pera natin, Dad. I already gave up on that." putol ko dito. Ayokong mag-aral lalo lang akong mahuhuli sa buhay. I want to freaking grow and not to be stuck up.

              "Okay, but you can still work for your dream. You can still explore, Daya. I was at your age when I discovered what I really want."

              "Tama! Bata kapa, nak. Marami pang mangyayari sayo. Kung ayaw mo ng mag-aral, edi sige. But never give up sa sarili mo."

              "Explore, Daya. We had taken a lot of time from you to take care of us instead of focusing on yourself. It's time for you to prioritize yourself." Dad kissed my hair again that made me cry more. Si Mama naman ay panay parin ang hagod sa likod ko.

             "Babawi kami sayo, nak. This time susuportahan ka na namin."

             A small smile made it to my lips as I looked at them both. Yet wala pa man akong nasasabi ay tumunog ang phone ko that made my drama be cut.

             "Oh?" walang tingin na sagot ko roon saka nanatiling nakaupo sa gitna ng mga magulang ko.

             "Ay. Anyare sa boses mo? May sakit ka ba?" si Kenvil iyon kaya napakunot ang noo ko saka nagpunas ng luha.

             "Wala. Anong sadya mo? Why did you call at New Year's Eve?" makapagsalita ako ay parang hindi ako nakipaghiwalay sa New Year's Eve.

             "May regalo ako sayo!" excited na tili nito kaya umalis na ako sa kwarto nila Mama para makausap ito ng maayos. "Daya, we have a big project! I'm sure matutuwa ka kasi tiba-tiba ka dito."