Convoke

Chapter 24

They hugged for a long time, not sharing a word between them, until Ezra said, "We have to be just friends."

"But I really like you."

"I really like you too, but to keep you safe, we can't be close like that."

"Can't we at least try?" Tom pulled is head back. Ezra's large expressive eyes were woeful and pained Tom's heart. "If you don't feel the same, that's okay."

"I do feel the same, trust me, I really do." Ezra studied his face, drawing every inch of detail from his pale skin with rosy cheeks, light blue eyes with hooded lids, rounded jaw and proportioned lips. "You're a beautiful human, and I can't ruin that. I don't trust myself enough."

Tom ached. Deep down, he knew he was falling for someone he could never have; he had known that from the start. "I said to myself so many times that it wouldn't work between us. Now that you're saying it too, I realise how much I wanted those words to be a lie."

"Do you not feel uncomfortable around me because of my demon presence?"

"No, not anymore. I used to feel cold, or uneasy, but it's barely there now. I think I've gotten used to it." Tom pushed his head back onto his shoulder. Ezra sighed against him and held him close. "A friend is better than nothing."

"You're the first friend I've had in such a long time." Ezra's deep voice was as soft as a petal, and just as frail. "I forgot what it was like."

"To have a friend?"

"To have someone who cares."

Tom hugged him tighter, wanting to slip his arms inside his jacket to feel his warmth. He wanted to press his head into his chest to hear his fast heart. He wanted to pull on his neck until their lips brushed each other. But Ezra wanted to be friends, and he had to respect his wishes. "You're worth caring about."

Ezra finally peeled himself away, though his full lips occupied a tiny smile, a sad smile. "I hope this won't make our friendship awkward. I have grown to really like you more than I expected, but nothing would make me happier than seeing you with someone you deserve to be with, and that's not me. I know you disagree, and I doubt I'll ever see myself through your eyes. I'm sorry to hurt you like that. It hurts me too. I have your best interests at heart, so I hope you can understand."

Tom felt as if he was reading out a formal letter. Ezra was from another time- an old soul in a young body. His rejection was excruciating, and Tom couldn't wait to get home, so he could cry silently into his pillow until his head throbbed and his eyes puffed. "I don't want to give up on you. I would if you didn't like me back. I didn't expect to fall for you either, but surely that's a reflection of your character. You're pushing me away because you don't see yourself as worthy. But Ezra, I know who I am, and I know my worth, and that's you. I've been hurt before, and that's made me wary. I guess I knew that things between us would probably not work out straight away, but that's not because you're a bad person, it's because you're a demon and everyone else sees that as a problem. Being a soul stripper doesn't make you guilty, being a human doesn't make me innocent." Tom smiled when Ezra had stopped looking so sad. "You can say that it won't work out, like I've said to myself already. Though now I think it was stupid of me to assume the outcome before even attempting. Maybe that's just me."

Ezra's eyes softened, and he crossed his arms. "Maybe that is just you. Are you really not going to give up?"

"No, but I will if it makes you uncomfortable."

"It won't. I just don't want to upset you."

"You won't. I'm hoping I can change your mind."

Ezra's blush deepened and spread down his neck. "Well good luck with that, I'm stubborn."