Convoke

Chapter 30

Their kisses were deep, and affectionate. They moved like they were meant to understand one another. Their kisses were exactly how Tom hoped they would feel- safe and devoted. With each one, his heart fell deeper in love.

Ezra was gentle yet kissed with a desperation that Tom craved. They wanted to be with each other, that much was obvious. And when their lips parted, and they pulled themselves out of their lust, reality hit hard.

Ezra let go of Tom and stepped away. He wiped his mouth, muttering an apology.

"Why are you sorry? This is what we both want," Tom said as Ezra wiped their kisses on his jacket.

"I'm being selfish. This is what we both want, but it's not what you deserve."

Tom sighed loudly and shook his head. "I've made my decision. I want you, Ezrakhell. There's nothing you can do to change my mind. I will never stop wanting you." He stood in front of him taking his hands and bringing them up to his chest. "I deserve someone who I can trust to love me unconditionally. Can I trust you to do that?"

Ezra nodded. "But-"

"No," Tom interrupted. "I don't want to hear it. One day you'll see yourself how I see you."

Ezra opened his mouth to argue. Instead, he pulled one of his hands away to softly touch the side of Tom's face. "I want to disagree with you. I want to yell at you for falling for me. I want to yell at myself for falling for you." Ezra's large brown eyes settled on his mouth. "And I want to kiss you again."

Tom pulled Ezra's head closer and stopped when their lips were a centimetre apart. "You can kiss me again, but only if you're done resisting me. I don't want to give myself to you if you won't stay."

The silence stretched out between them, until Ezra whispered, "I'm done. But I can't promise that I won't be insecure sometimes. I don't love myself the way you love yourself. Can you help me with that?"

"I'll help you with anything." They kissed again, this time slowly as if to cherish the taste and feel of each individual kiss. And then they hugged for a long time, not needing to speak to know what the other was thinking.

Tom focused on Ezra's hand on the back of his neck, ruffling where his hair began. He focused on the warmth of his shoulder through the fabric of his t-shirt. He focused on how tightly Ezra held him around the waist.

When Ezra moved, Tom wanted to grip on tighter. But Ezra just wanted to look at him, the way he had looked at him for weeks with growing adoration. "Thank you," he said earnestly. "For fighting for me."

"You're worth it. You'll see that one day," Tom said, beaming with pride that they were finally getting somewhere. "Shall we go?"

Ezra nodded, following him down the corridor of bookshelves. He paused before Tom opened the door. "I'll meet you by the country road."

"You don't have to. We can leave together."

"But it's not fully dark yet, people will see. And I'm not allowed in the library."

"Ezra, we've just spent the last fifteen minutes making out. I don't care who sees." Tom chuckled and took his hand, intertwining their fingers. "Come on."

They stepped into the street together. Ezra anxiously glanced around while Tom locked the door. Only a few souls littered the streets. Mostly dog walkers or hikers coming down from the hills.

"We'll drop the keys off at Haisley's house and go back to the pub. I need to ask my parents about the meeting last night." Tom tugged on Ezra's hand when he didn't move.

"Are you sure about this?" the demon asked, visibly uncomfortable.

"We don't have to hold hands if-"

"I want to. But people will treat you differently now."