cigarettes out the window | scaramouchue x reader

part 22

"his first diagnose was wrong. he has fourth stage cancer, not second. there is no saving for him now" she said as her voice cracked.

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white walls. the smell of freshly cleaned floors. cold metal chairs. men in while clothes. moms trying to comfort their children. moms arguing their children. even though they did nothing wrong but to be alive.

all these were familiar to you. a little too familiar for your liking. hospitals were never your thing. yet you somehow spent way too much time than a normal person would spend there.

you were waiting with scaramouche in the hallway. miko, ayaka and ayato were inside the doctor's cabinet to talk about ayato's condition. and the quietness was eating you from the inside. the only sound was thoma's footsteps from going back and forth because his nervousness.

"thank you, doctor, we will we each other on monday then." miko said as she shakes hands with the doctor and all three of them exited the cabinet.

"so? what did he say?" thoma asked curiously and worriedly at the same time.

"he, uh, he said that-" ayato began but miko spit it out for him.

"do you kids want to go out? this smell is suffocating me. what about a walk in the park, hm?" and she made her way out of the building.

were you grateful that you got out? no. you didn't hear what ayato wanted to say, and even though you waited this long you couldn't wait for another 10 minutes of silent walking. frankly, scaramouche was there to hold your hand and non-verbally let you know that everything is fine.

"can we please stop and tell me what is going on? i am so fucking anxious i feel like i am about to explode and all you three do is shut up and tell me nothing." thoma said as his eyes started to get wet.

"oh we are finally here. what a nice weather. this cheeky cold that spikes through your face" miko said and took a seat on the nearest bench with a picnic panel near.

"yae, this isn't the time to get sly, why did you fucking bring us all here" scaramouche said tired of her bullshit.

"scaramouche, please, she did a lot for us today, i should be thanking her instead." ayaka said trying to make peace between everyone.

"no need for thanks ayaka, i did this because i care lots about you and your brother. now ayato, please continue what you wanted to say" she said and everyone took a seat on the bench she was already on.

"right, so" he said as he took a deep breath in hopes of not getting emotional. "most parts of my vital organs are already damaged, that's why you thoma noticed the bloody tissues around the house, i started coughing up blood" ayato said and wiped his face with his hands. knowing that you are closer to dying that living was had for and 18 year old.

"the fourth stage of cancer is incurable as far as we know, so realistically i have no more than 2 months of living roughly speaking" he said that and ayaka started sniffling. even miko wasn't like as smug as usual.

"so? that's it? you just go away like poof? is there really nothing we can do?" scaramouche said trying to be the calmest person out of you all.

"you didn't let me finish." he said and thoma's head snapped up listening with full attention and hope.

but by the looks of ayaka and miko's face you didn't get your expectations up.

"there is a new form of chemotherapy. way stronger than the one we know. it is guaranteed to kill every bad cell of cancer a human being can bear. but, it's disolvant for not killing the good cells is still under experimentation." he said as he folded his hands.

that's when you noticed how the illness got the best of him. slender fingers, way too slender. dark purple eyebags. skinny, almost dripping face. and yellow-greenish skin. cancer was the worst things a human being can bear.

"so what's that supposed to mean?" you asked not quite understanding what he meant.

"i would be the first person to bear this chemotherapy. if everything goes right, i will start recovering as any person recovers from chemotherapy."

"and if it doesn't go right?" thoma asked hesitantly to which ayato swallowed hard trying to find the right words but miko helped him out.

"ayato will suffer from severe memory loss, and that will be the first and only sign that the chemo went wrong, because in less than 24 hours ayato will be..." she said as she inhaled harshly. even for her it was hard "...dead" and with that ayaka started sobbing uncontrollably.

that's when you realized everything was real, that it was really happening, that a human life does nothing more than hang itself on a strand of hair.

thoma started breathing extremely roughly trying to not cry as well to not cause more sorrowness. he didn't want to draw ayaka's attention onto him while miko was trying her best to calm her down even if she wasn't the best person at comforting.

ayato was just ... there. not mentally, just physically, his mind was in a whole another world. where? nobody knows. it was just him, but not really him.

"so, what are you going to do?" scaramouche asked.

"it's either possibly die now or precisely  die in less than two months. but dying without remembering anyone? not remembering anything from your life?" ayaka said as she already calmed herself down.

"still, that didn't answer my question" scaramouche said as politely and as not rudely as he could.

"i accepted the chemotherapy. the session will be held on monday."