deja vu (tom holland angst)

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a/n: flashbacks in italics, cw: minor mention of sexual activity nothing too bad

"Guys come on! It's starting!" Harrison yelled to his mates as he took his favorite spot in the corner of the couch. Harry and Tuwaine quickly settled in next to him, beers and snacks in hand.

"What are you guys watching?" Tom asked, strolling in fighting off a yawn. Harrison looked at Harry expectantly, deciding to let his brother answer Tom's question.

"Oh um, Y/n's performing her new song for the first time on Jimmy Fallon tonight," Harry answered, scratching his neck as he felt the awkward tension rise at the mention of you, Tom's ex-girlfriend.

"Oh, that's good. For her I mean, I didn't know she got back into music," Tom swallowed.

"Yeah, she said that you inspired her when she said she wanted to take a break from acting," Harry shrugged.

"Do you um, do you still talk to her? How is she?" Tom asked, taking a seat next to Harry, his eyes fixated on the commercial that played in front of them.

"Every so often, she's still my friend Tom," Harry answered.

"No no I know, I was just wondering," he nodded. His jaw unintentionally clenched as his brother sighed, and he felt his phone ding in his hand. Looking down at the screen and seeing a text from his current girlfriend, he decided to put his phone on silent and ignore it as he saw Jimmy's face appear on the screen.

"Performing her single Deja Vu from her first studio album Sour out May 28th, here is Y/n Y/l/n," he introduced earning applause from the audience. The camera cut to you standing at a microphone stand in the center of the stage, surrounded by purple lights. Tom instantly noticed the way your fingers fiddled with your ring a sign that you were nervous as the song began playing in the background.

"Car rides to Malibu, Strawberry ice cream one spoon for two, and trading jackets laughing 'bout how small it looks on you," you sang. Tom's face instantly ran pale, his eyes widening as he listened to the lyrics, knowing this song was about him.

"This song again darling?" Tom asked glancing over at you.

"Are you complaining Holland?" you asked with an eyebrow raised as you reached over to turn up the radio, listening to the drums and chords of the song starting. You gripped Tom's hand tighter and raised it into the air to wave around to the beat making him chuckle.

"State the obvious I didn't get my perfect fantasy I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me!" you snag putting on a country accent to match that of Taylor Swift's. Tom laughed with a shake of his head you continued, practically sticking your head out the window to take in some of the malibu air. He pulled into your favorite ice cream place as the song ended, prompting you to jump out of the car as soon as he put the car in park.

"Tommy come onnnnnn," you beckoned, opening his door for him, and dragging him out with a giggle.

"I'm coming love," he laughed, latching onto your hand and catching up to your pace, " know what you want?"

"Strawberry duhh."

"Of course sweetheart, one spoon," he smiled, stretching his arm over your shoulders to pull you closer and pressing a kiss to your hair.

"Watching reruns of Glee, being annoying singing in harmony. I bet she's braggin' saying to all her friends saying you're so unique," you continued, clearly starting to loosen up a bit. Harry looked over at his brother whose eyes were glued to the screen.

"You need to give it up," you sang over Mercedes' voice.

"Had about enough," Tom joined in over top of Santana's.

"It's not hard to see the," you continued before Tom joined you, "boy is mine." You both looked at each other and fell into a fit of laughter, continuing the song between giggles.

As Harry walked into the room, he wanted to interrupt his friend and brother to queue them in on how annoying and loud they were being but he couldn't help the smile that rose to his face upon seeing the look of absolute love, adoration, and happiness that were present in both of your faces. With a shake of his head, he headed back to his room, adding a reminder to his phone to have Tom buy everyone in the house noise-canceling headphones.

"Tom-" he started.

"Shh," he shushed him.

"So when you gonna tell her that we did that too? She thinks it's special, but it's all reused that our place I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you, do you get deja vu when she's with you? Do you get deja vu huh?" you sang with a smug shoulder shrug. The beat dropped and you smiled as you let the music control your movements. Tom, on the other hand, felt his throat swell, and his phone begins to buzz in his hand yet again.

"Is this about you mate?" Tuwaine asked.

"Well, no shit," Harrison answered shoving Tuwaine in the arm and making him shut up.

"Do you call her? Almost say my name 'cause let's be honest, they kinda do sound the same," you sang.

He had. In the first month of his new relationship, he had even made sure to fight any bit of noise he made in bed to make sure he wouldn't moan out your name instead of hers.

"Another actress. I hate to think that I was just your type." He watched as your smile slowly faced into a frown, stopping to take a deep breath before coming back.

"I bet that she knows Billie Joel 'cause you played her uptown girl. You're singing it together now I bet you even tell her how you love her in between the chorus and the verse," you continued, forcing your eyes shut to prevent the tears from falling.

"She's getting tired of her high-class toys," you sang along to the words while cutting up vegetables. You felt a familiar pair of arms snake around your waist making a smile form on your mouth. You put the knife down, leaning back onto Tom's chest letting him intertwine your hands and sway you.

"And all presents from her uptown boys, she's got a choice," Tom mumbled in your ear, pressing light kisses to your hair.

"I love you," he whispered earning a hum. You turned in his arms, planting a kiss on his lips.

"And I love you," you mumbled against him.

Tom watched as you finished the song, his eyes filled with tears and his ears ringing as he quickly made his way to his room, ignoring the calls from the boys behind him. Shutting his eyes tightly, memories of you flashed through his brain making tears fall down his cheeks. He snapped his eyes open, pulling his phone from his pocket and scrolling through his contacts until his finger was hovering over your name.

He clicked it, his heart beating roughly against his chest as he listened to it ring.

"Hello?" you answered, "Tom?"

"Um hey- hi," he replied, "I heard your song."

"Yeah? Um, what did you think?"

"I do, um ya know," he whispered with a sniffle.

"I know, I know you get deja vu. Listen I uh I gotta go." you didn't let him answer before hanging up leaving him staring at the ceiling, his mind racing with thoughts of you.

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