The Tears Of A Clown

Chapter Ten

George entered the Big Top to find his sister, and his father as well as his Aunt Jeanette already there, along with several others. They were all looking up anxiously towards the roof, where some how his younger brother had managed to climb up, and was now sitting swinging on the middle trapeze which his father usually used as the catcher.

George joined the others, hardly able to take his eyes of his brother above his head.

“How the hell did he get up there?” he demanded in bewilderment

“He must have climbed the rope somehow,” Maria spoke up, “we had just finished our training session and then we went to get something to eat before we started to dismantle the rigging. When we got back, Carlos was up there”

“Hey George!” Carlos now hailed his brother spotting him from up above, “Look at me, look where I am,” he then laughed gleefully “Makes a change me up here, and you lot down there, huh?”

“We think he has been drinking alcohol, we found an empty beer bottle on the ground beside the rope,” Maria explained, glancing up again worriedly

George swore loudly in alarm, now joining his father who stood by the rope and was trying to persuade Carlos to grab it. So he could come down again.

Ricardo was using his most authorative voice, but at the same time, the tense lines on his face showed the strain of his concern for his youngest son.

“I don’t want to come down yet dad,” Carlos replied, “I can’t.. don’t you see I have to show you that I am just as good as George and Maria, that I am a Sanchez too” he said suddenly looking serious,

Ricardo’s heart tightened, “Of course you are a Sanchez, Carly,” he found himself addressing his son by the pet name they had given to him when he was small, trying to appeal to him in a more reasonable tone, in the hope he would listen.

“Just come down now and we will talk about it from here, why don’t you grab the rope and we will help you, eh?”

“But I want to make you proud of me dad. I want you to be proud of me like you are of George, and I don’t want you pitying me anymore!” Carlos declared

His words were just like painful blows driven into Ricardo’s heart.

He knew Melanie had been worried about Carlos feeling left out, because he had not been giving him enough attention But he had put it down to her over reacting and worrying too much as usual.

Now he realised that in this instance it seemed she had been right with her concern

He found it difficult to speak, but he knew he had to persuade Carlos to come down, he licked his dry lips, forcing his tone to sound normal

“Ok Carly you have made your point, and I am proud of you.” he then told him, “Look at you up there, you look a natural. So you don’t have to prove anything to me anymore. Why don’t you just come down, you realise if Mom finds out about this, she will kick my butt right across the ring,” he then pointed out, in what he hoped, was a light hearted tone.

Yet George, standing next to his father could hear the unsteady tremor in his voice that told him Ricardo was feeling far from lighthearted

Carlos thought the idea of his quiet gentle mother who fretted and worried about him all the time, kicking his father’s butt hilarious, and he laughed. But remained unconvinced that his father could be proud of him.

“You haven’t seen any thing yet,” he called down, “Watch this”

Seeing the way his son was shifting on the trapeze bar, Ricardo felt his heart go into his mouth, realising Carlos was going to attempt to hang from the bar upside down, hooked by his knees