The Tears Of A Clown

Chapter Twenty Eight

A few weeks later, Ricardo summoned George and Maria to his caravan after they finished the evening show. He wanted to break the news of his retirement to them before everyone else learned of it, which they soon would.

Carlos was there also, along with Jeanette, Ricardo's sister, who was one of the few who already knew, along with Melanie what was happening. She wanted to be there to support him..

Ricardo remained standing whilst everyone sat down, the grave expression in his face told his children whatever this little gathering about, it was serious, so they had his full attention

"I guess you are wondering what this is all about," his dark eyes swept over his three children who sat together, and there was a faint smile on his lips, "But I have a good reason for wanting to talk to you all tonight, there is something I have to tell you, that you need to hear before this season comes to an end"

"What is it Pops?" Maria asked, suddenly feeling uneasy.

Ricardo stood with his hands on his waist, taking in a deep breath. But found himself unable to look her in the eye, instead he ended up staring down at his feet,

"I just thought I should let you know this will be my last season performing in the circus . Due to the old injury in my back which has been playing up again, that could leave me permanently crippled, it seems the flying trapeze will no longer be an option for me, and I will be retiring "

He glanced up to see the shock on all their faces.

It had been one of the hardest announcements he had to make to them, but they needed to know. because it would directly affect them as well, especially Maria and George, who would have to go on performing without him.

It was a painful realisation for him, but Ricardo kept a stiff upper lip, not wanting them to see how upset he was. He needed to be strong not only for himself, but for them also. Sensing this, Melanie came over to stand beside him, resting her hand on his arm, giving him some extra moral support to get through this difficult time

It seem to take a little while for their father's announcement to finally sink in

"Th-there has to be some sort of a mistake!" Maria finally spoke up refusing to believe it, "You can't be retiring.. Maybe the doctors have got it wrong.. What about a second opinion?"

"I have a second and a third opinion" Ricardo informed her dryly, "But they all say the same thing, if I don't give up performing on the trapeze there is a very real risk I will end up back in a wheelchair, Having been in that situation once, I have no desire to do it again" he informed them grimly

"Oh Pops!" Maria's face crumpled, she leapt up from her seat hugging him, whilst finding herself crying into his shoulder, "This is the worse thing ever! I can't imagine you not being with us performing it won't feel right" she sniffled miserably.

Ricardo put his arms around her, but remained stoic, "Well it's just something we are all going to have to adjust, and get use to" he informed her

George was now realising the reason for his fathers strange mood swings lately, "How long have you known?" he asked quietly

"Just over a month, I didn't want to say anything until near the end of the season," Ricardo replied "I didn't want to spoil things, but with only a few weeks to go, I will be making an official announcement soon"

"I am so sorry Dad," George then spoke up regretfully, standing up also, "Maria's right, it's just going to be really weird if you are not up there with us."

"Well I would have had to retire sometime, and you would have had to go on" Ricardo pointed out philosophically, "It's just a little sooner than I planned," he forced himself to smile