Monaxiá

Part five - a good day.?

Ellas POV:

It's Wednesday and not much has changed, dads tried to get me to come to the cinema or games room with him a couple times but each time I leave the room I start to panic and then dad's forced to bring me back.

The furthest I've gotten is to the cinema rooms door where a dog barked from down the hallway and from then on until dad carried me back to our bedroom I hid my face in the crook of his neck frozen and scared. Even when we got back I wasn't able to breathe properly or look at dad for some time.

A good thing that has happened is I'm now able to use the sink like a more normal person, dad just has to be next to me like usual otherwise I can't breathe and panic about the smallest things. On the other hand, the shower and bathtub im still wildly scared of, dads been sitting us closer to the edge of the bath every so often to try make me less scared of it while also not making me snowball into a full blown panic attack and melt down.

Todays been okay so far, not like it's even began, it's 9:30 am and dads snoring beside me as I slowly watch the time on my phone change over the minutes and hours of yet another sleepless night.

People outside have been moving around as usual, I can kind of feel their footsteps if I really try, by now they've all gone downstairs to have breakfast. usually they start shuffling around at about 5:30 and stop about 7:30-8am. The hallway outside falls silent until about 9-9:30 where one last person wakes and leaves to wherever until dad wakes about the same time to me already awake.

Soon I hear the usual slower shuffling about from the one last person outside, I hear the muted opening and closing of draws and doors and finally dragging footsteps that lead down the hallway to probably the kitchen or wherever.

I jump as dad slightly jolts behind me, "ella?" He asks quickly as he sits up and hurriedly looks around. Dads eyes find me and he instantly relaxes, taking a couple deep breaths he sighs, "sorry baby, -just a dream," he says quietly as he snakes his arms around my waist and shoulders and softly pulls me to him.

I cuddle further into him as he takes a couple deep breathes before he sighs heavily and kisses the top of my head, "should we try go downstairs for some breakfast?" He asks softly while playing with my hair.

Looking up to him he smiles softly, his eyes are warm and brown as usual but also glossy, what was his dream about? My left hand reaches up and adjusts his messy hair as he watches my face closely, he pulls me almost impossibly closer as he hides his face in my neck with small tears running down his cheeks.

Resting my chin on his fluffy black hair I wrap my arms around his neck as he evens his breathing further from his bad dream, I take a big deep breath as dad reveals his face and kisses my cheeks repeatedly, squealing I push him gently away as he laughs softly, I frown jokingly as he smiles at me, "let's try go downstairs for some breakfast okay?"

I think for a second as he scans my face, I have a small sigh and hide my face in the crook of his neck and nod, dad pauses and soon hugs me tighter, "you're coming?" He asks again and as I nod a second time he rolls onto his back with me on his stomach and chest while hugging me close to him.

While gently squeezing me as he sits up and carries me with him, "I'm so proud, after we have breakfast maybe we can try the cinema room again? Or we can come back here- whatever your comfortable with."

He continues to hold me as we get ready, as he helps me get dressed in a new pair of joggers and so on the door opens softly, looking back as dad stands in front of me as I stay sat on the bed as Emily smiles, "hey you two? What are we planning to do for breakfast?" She asks as she leans on the door way.

"Well I asked miss Ella here," dad say's ruffling my hair as Emily holds in a laugh, "and she says she's going to try and have breakfast down in the kitchen," he says looking down at me as I look up to him, I force a small, tight- lipped and awkward smile while Emily claps her hands together softly.