when eyes bleed by inkkoya
Lingering in Jay's room, you took in the sight of the scattered belongings and disarray that surrounded you. The room mirrored the state of your own mind, filled with an overwhelming sense of chaos and confusion.
Your anxiety attacks had intensified in recent weeks, casting a heavy shadow over your daily life. Once, you had possessed the strength and resilience to navigate through them alone.
But now, the weight of the anxiety felt insurmountable, suffocating you with each passing episode.
Today, you had decided to visit his house unannounced, hoping to reconnect and seek the support you so desperately needed.
The need for support had become undeniable, and the people you turned to for solace were your parents and your best friend, Jay.
However, an unsettling feeling had settled within you as of late. Jay, who had always been a pillar of strength and a constant source of comfort, seemed to be growing more distant. The reasons behind his sudden behaviors remained a mystery.
As you surveyed the mess in Jay's room, you couldn't help but notice how it reflected the state of your friendship.
You can see all his soccer clothes laying on the four, his sucks.
It was a mess.
But suddenly your eyes landed on box that was hidden, but not perfectly. It was under his desk.
Curiosity propelled you forward, despite the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. With each step, the weight of unease grew heavier, and as you approached the source of the disturbing revelation, your heart pounded in your chest. Opening the box revealed a chilling scene that shattered any semblance of normalcy you had hoped to find.
Inside the box lay a case of razor blades, their cold metal glinting in the dim light, accompanied by a bottle of sleeping pills. The sight of blood on some of the razors sent a shiver down your spine.
Jay had been battling his own demons, and he had chosen self-destruction as a means to escape his pain.
The sight of the razors and pills scattered within the box struck you with a profound sense of anguish. Your mind raced, desperately grappling with the harsh reality that your best friend had been silently suffering, carrying the weight of his pain in secret.
The distance and behavior now made agonizing sense. Jay had been silently spiraling, teetering on the edge of despair, and no one had been aware of his inner turmoil.
Tossing the box aside, your body trembled, overwhelmed by a surge of emotions that threatened to consume you.
you were in denial, It was a devastating truth that shattered the facade of normalcy you had clung to. Your knees gave way, collapsing beneath the weight of the moment, and you found yourself gasping for air, struggling to maintain composure amidst the turmoil.
As your breaths grew shallow and ragged, a haunting noise pierced the silence, intensifying the already suffocating atmosphere. It was the sound of something falling, followed by the unmistakable footsteps drawing nearer.
Panic surged through your veins, mingling with concern for Jay's well-being. Who else was aware of his struggle? Who else might be witnessing this devastating revelation?
Time seemed to stand still as the footsteps approached, each echo resonating with a mixture of fear and urgency.
Your thoughts were interrupted by someone unlocking the door. But you couldn't care less.
You wern't in your right mind.
"Y/n, it's not-"
he started, but he noticed that something about you wasn't right.
You didn't look up at him and you were breathing way too fast. "Y/n?" He questioned, setting a hand on your shoulder.
The moment he did that, you started to hyperventilate.
"Stay calm, everything is fine," he said, positioning himself to where he's completely in front of you.
He was trying to calm you, but your mind was about him.
He wanted to kill himself.
Why?
"Y/n! Look at me !" Jay yelled trying to get your attention.
And you slowly looked up, tears falling from your eyes. He looked terrified but relieved that you were moving.
He wrapped his arms around you, placing his head on your shoulder.
"Please don't scare me like that," he whispered, this time you heard what he said. The anxiety attack was finally over. You held each other tightly, your intertwined embrace a testament to the bond you shared.
With tear-stained cheeks and voices hushed with raw emotion, you both found comfort in the simple act of being together. Time seemed to lose all meaning as you remained locked in each other's arms
His back was leaning against the cabinet and your arms were on his chest and you were grasping his shirt for something to hold on to.
Your legs were extended out behind you and you felt as if you were paralyzed.
He lifted your chin and kissed your lips lightly. It was like this for ten more minutes and no words have been said.
You felt as if you had no more tears left in you.
Your breathing calmed down and your eyes stayed closed.
The warmth sent from Jay's body made you calm and his hand grazed up and down your back.
The scent that lingered off his body made a small smile form onto your lips.
It reminds you of times when he gives you his shirt or sweatshirt to wear. "J-Jay," you whispered.
"Please don't scare me like that," he whispered before he wrapped his arms around your shaken body.
"J-Jay, why were you trying to kill yourself," you asked.
"I don't know, but the only feeling in my heart those days is depression " he muttered.
but you understood every word. "Jay" you began, picking his head up to look at you.
"you have your family your friends, you have the reasons to be happy, and if you need to talk, I'm here. You can talk to me anytime you want. Alright? "
when you finished your speech, Jay's eyes begin to water. He wrapped his arms around you, tightening his hold on you.
"You are gonna throw that box away, and promise you will never get to thouch those things again, promise me Jay "
Jay who was crying on your shoulders mumbled.
" I promise you y/n" whilst you caressed his head with your fingers.
"Everything is going to be alright Jay" With your hands on his back, you felt the steady rise and fall of his breath, a soothing rhythm that mirrored the mending of his wounded soul.
The weight of the moment began to ease, replaced by a glimmer of hope and the understanding that, together, you would face the challenges that lay ahead.
You put your hands behind his back and rubbed his back your hands found his hair and his hands found your waist.
You pulled away and went back next to him and he followed. You went into the crook of his neck and kissed his neck and shoulder.
I will always be with you.
.
