Amusement Parks

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When you date a big girl
Be careful how you choose
Where to take her
How to date her
Put yourself in her shoes

In the movies
Theme parks are always a great date
But be weary
Please be weary
Not for you, but for her sake

Real world rides
Aren't made for girls with curves my size
Oh the seats
Those damn seats!
How they cut into our thighs!

And once we're in
We still have the seat belt
Oh please fit
Oh please fit!
The embarrassment we've felt

When the attendant says
"Sorry, the belt just won't fit"
The eyes
Oh the eyes!
They make you feel like shit

You want to laugh it off
But instead you run and hide
Oh kill me now
Just take me now!
You can't stop, you start to cry

And here comes your date
Being the average size he is
Yeah he's perfect
So perfect
You will never be his

He won't want you now
That embarrassed him too
Crap we're done
It's done
This whole date is through

He tries to comfort you
Which makes you cry more
Oh great
Oh great!
This is more than he bargained for

If a guy offers me
Theme park on the first date
Yeah okay
Not okay
I'm just gonna tell him straight

A theme park is for skinny girls
And the girl you're talking to is not
So move on
Please move on
Don't even bother taking your shot

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