Glee.

Two: Britney 2.0. Part Two.

Back in the choir room, Brittany was sitting in a chair, staring at the Glee Clubbers...

"Kiki, why is everybody in the Glee Club staring at me?" Asked Brittany.

"Because those fools are jealous." Kiki tells her.

"Uh, who's Kiki?" Ashleigh asked, frowning softly, staring at Brittany.

"Kiki is Siri's super-smart older cousin who's really jealous of how famous Siri's gotten. She lives on this super-cheap phone I found at the Laundromat." Brittany tells them.

"What size coffee is that?" Asked Sam.

"Kiki, what size coffee am I drinking?" Brittany asked.

"You're drinking a settanta, 70 ounces of espresso." Kiki tells her.

"Thank you, Kiki. You're the only one I trust now that Santana's too busy for me." Brittany says.

"Brittany, we're worried about you. We know how hard it must have felt to get kicked off Cheerios..." Ashleigh tells her.

"None of you would, but you would." Brittany says, staring at Ashleigh.

"We want you to be the lead performer at the pep assembly on Friday." Said Ashleigh.

"That's great. There's only one problem. I might have to lip-synch." Brittany said.

"We don't, uh, we don't lip-synch in Glee, Brittany." Blaine tells her.

"Well, my voice is too weak to sing live. I've been up every night yelling at shrubs that have been making fun of me." Brittany says.

"This sounds like a terrible idea." Artie tells them.

"Wait, we can record the song in advance. Brittany and I will choreograph an amazing routine without anyone running out of breath, and Mr. Schue won't know any difference." Said Ashleigh.

Blaine signed, closing his eyes and shaking his head at her.

"I need to speak to you outside." Ashleigh said, walking outside the choir room.

Back with Cassandra, she was in the studio, seeing Rachel and Brody walking in...

"You're late. And dressed like a Walgreens underwear model. What are you doing here, Brody?"

"I asked Brody to help me with a routine." Rachel said.

"And you just love helping people, especially the ingenues. Show me what you prepared."

"So, what do you think, Miss July?" Rachel asked, being helped down from the table by Brody. "Am I ready to learn the tango?"

"You can memorise a routine. So what?"

"Rachel was incredible." Brody tells her.

"You were incredible. She was okay. And that song? Garbage. Whose idea was that? You want the truth? Fine. Maria Von Trapp. Willy Loman. Shrek. Those are appropriate for your level of sex appeal."