Winter Warmth - Bucky Barnes x Y/N

Seven

You and Bucky had shared at least 5 cups of coffee, finding different things to talk about so you didn't have to end the conversation. He was so lovely and funny. You didn't know him all that well, but you were proud of him for getting that part of him back.

You let out a soft yawn. "What time is it? It feels like we've been here hours!" You put your chin on your hand and smiled deep into his eyes.

"Shit, it's 2AM! I'm sorry, do you want to go to sleep? I don't want to keep you if you're tired."

"No not at all! I don't mind talking for a little longer." You gazed into his eyes again, it was hard not to. He had beautiful, piercing eyes that told a thousand stories the further you looked. He had seen so much.

He smiled and looked down "Good."

"So tell me about Brooklyn. About Steve. How did you meet?"

"Well," He scoffed "He was the token victim. Short, skinny, too nice for his own good. He was constantly getting in fights and getting picked on. He hated bullies. So one day, I stepped in - took him under my wing. He was my best friend. He didn't grow up with much, he would stuff his shoes with newspaper and wear the same clothes every day. It made me sad, but it was admirable. Showed you didn't need money to be a good person."

Your smile beemed listening to how such a storybook friendship bloomed, but you wanted to know more. Bucky was covered in sentences you struggled to read.

"I don't mean to pry, I'm sorry. But how did he end up at war if he was so small? I mean, I know he's Captain Fucking America now, but why him?"

"He wanted to follow me, do whatever I did. He stood by me through everything. Sergeant James Barnes and his skinny pal. I begged him not to go. He was sick, and wouldn't cope out there on the field. I told him I could get him documents to declare him unfit so he didn't need to go and could stay here with his Mom. He lied on every form he could to try get into the army, and they all said no. Apart from one. He was a scientist, working with Howard Stark to test the super soldier programme and he thought Steve was the best option for the job."

"Yeah I remember that part. Howard would always tell me stories when I was growing up about how he 'made' Captain America. I do miss the Starks. It's so sad what happened to them. They were good people deep down." You frowned as Bucky's face dropped. You didn't know who killed them. You always thought it was an innocent car crash.
Bucky was stunned speachless. He didn't want to tell you what he did to them. "I'm sorry.." He mouthed as you looked deep at his face, and suddenly you put two and two together. What Tony had said in his message last night was starting to make sense. 'I still haven't forgiven the other one for killing my parents.'

Your mouth widened into a slight gasp as you batted away tears with your eyelashes. "It was you wasn't it?" He was nervous. Shuffling in his seat and looking around hastily. You leant forward and went to put your hand atop of his.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." You reassured him as his eyes filled with tears and he leant back, worried you would lash out at him. He deserved it in his eyes. "I know Tony hasn't forgiven you, so it's not my place to do it for him. But I forgive you. It wasn't your fault, Bucky." You whispered as the tears rolled down your face and Bucky released his tense body and jaw. "Thank you" He mouthed through tears. You didn't want to tap into his mind, but you would've loved to revel in his thoughts just for one moment. To see if that brought back any memories for him.

"I never forgot. I never forget anyone I killed. It wasnt me, but it was. I hate who I was. I did some fucked up shit, Y/N."

"I never forget. I still have a tally in my room at the base of how many I've killed in my lifetime. It makes me sick. But it made me, me. I learnt to embrace who I was, not resent it. It made the healing easier." You softly grabbed his hand and pulled him up, walking toward the Avengers quarters. "I think we both need some rest." A soft smile pierced your lips as you let go of his hand and walked toward the dorms.

"Well, this is me." You smiled, leaning against your door. "It's been so lovely speaking to you, Bucky. It's nice to have someone like you here." You put your arms out for a hug, which he walked straight into, putting his head softly on your shoulder and sniffling. He took in the smell of your perfume - musk and vanilla, and he began to smile as he pulled out of the hug.

"Coffee in the morning?" He asked, wiping a stray tear from his cheek.

"Only if you're making it" You smiled. "G'night Bucky." You whispered as you walked into your room.

It was beautiful. Soft cream walls, with white wooden furniture. A big flatscreen TV donned the left wall, whilst the right held frames with photos in them, and some of your field achievements. There were flowers on the bedside table and a beautiful pearl studded lamp. The bedsheets were white satin and the floors were cool towned wood panels, covered by a plush cream rug. It reminded you of home - another thing you knew Tony did on purpose.
There was a glass french door inbetween the windows, leading out to a shared balcony. The view was beautiful, especially at night. You walked out and stood there for a moment, watching the stars move in unison whilst taking in the fresh, crisp winter breeze that blew in your direction. Even if you decided to go back to Sheild, you wanted to make every waking hour of your week here last. It was paradise.

You pulled out your phone from your pocket and opened your messages app. You knew Tony would still be awake, the poor guy never sleeps. He said it was because his brain wouldn't be this big if he slept in. You began to type.

'Hey Tony, my room is beautiful. Thank you. It reminds me so much of home. Did you do that on purpose? I know how much you want me here so I guess it's a bargaining factor, huh? Everyone is great here. I'm looking forward to the rest of the week. See you at breakfast. Xx'

Walking back into the room and shutting the door softly behind you, you put your phone down to charge and opened your bag. You pulled out some soft pyjamas and took them into the bathroom, laying them down softly over the toilet seat.
Undressing, you turned on the shower and gazed in awe at the water pressure. It was so soft and dense. You hopped in and began to wash your body, lathering up the rose soap in your hands and circling it around your skin. Washing your hair under the warm water and wringing out your long, platinum locks.
The shower mat was fluffy, but not in a way that made the hairs stick to you. It was more like soft tufts that tickled inbetween your toes. You brushed your teeth and put your pyjamas on, staring into the big full mirror above the sink. You smiled a familiar smile. It felt so much like home here. You had already made your decision.