Summer Sanders is going through it. The pressures of school are mounting, and her home life is completely falling apart. Feeling bored and lonely on a Saturday night, she decides to get buzzed and surprise her hookup buddy with her best lingerie. Th...
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I'VE BEEN KEEPING myself busy these last two weeks. I've always been a busy person, so it's not much of a struggle finding things to do even with the season being over.
In these last two weeks, Sam and I have gotten closer than we've been in months. The time I don't spend at school and the time she doesn't spend at work or school, we mostly spend together. She's been good since the night of my party. After an excruciating hangover the next morning, she laid it all out for me; the true extent of her struggles, when she started drinking again, why she tried to push me away as a result, and her newfound commitment to sobriety again.
I have reservations about the last part, but in these two weeks, she's started seeing a therapist and I've been closely monitoring her. Plus her spirits have been up, especially after I convinced John to allow her an extra playdate with Jake. I think she'll make it through the trial then no matter the outcome, she's agreed to admit herself into a six week treatment program.
That's all I wanted. This is the plan I was trying to communicate to Summer. Too bad I was so out of it, so panicked and shocked, so consumed in my mind with memories of my worst moments in the past and visions of potential worst moments with Sam in the future. It made me a dick towards her, I won't lie about that fact.
In that moment, despite my feelings for her, I was relieved when she walked away. For a brief moment I thought that might be the end of us and that would be okay because I've never been in a relationship before and I've never been in love. I figured the feelings would just start to evaporate and I'd move on with my life knowing I at least took a chance and stepped out of my comfort zone.
I couldn't be more wrong.
As soon as she was out the door, I desperately wanted her back in. That feeling of someone you love leaving, it's a feeling I only wanted to experience once.
The only reason why I'm not completely going out of my mind is because our fight ended in an ambiguous way. We didn't technically break up, not verbally, so there's still something that can be repaired. All I need to do is get back in contact with her and ask for forgiveness. If only she'd let me speak to her.
I haven't seen Summer in two weeks. She won't answer my texts or calls, and she always manages to remain in the back when I visit her job. I don't want to become a stalker, but I'm remaining diligent in my efforts. I have to, I can't get her out of my damn mind. Every second of every day I'm thinking about how much I miss talking to her, how much I miss holding and kissing her, how much I miss loving her.
"You ready?" Darren nudges my shoulder, taking me out of my deep thoughts.
I slide into my sneakers and check my phone hoping to suddenly get a response from Summer out of the blue. "I'm ready." I sigh and place my phone back into the pocket of my basketball shorts.
Darren's been busy nonstop with his play lately, but he finds time to hang out when he can, and today we've decided to go for a run together to blow off mutual steam.
