The mate of his nanny

Chapter 172: Control

Moana

As I listened to Edrick playing the piano, I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. I wished that I could see him, but if it made him too nervous, then I was happy to just listen. He played beautifully, and I hoped that I could always hear his music from then on.

The song that he was playing came to an end, and was followed by silence. I didn't realize it, but I had shut my eyes as I lost myself listening to the music. I opened them again and turned, expecting him to still be sitting at the piano, but he wasn't.

He was standing right behind me, looking down at me with those glowing silver eyes.
Edrick was so close to me that I could smell his cologne coming off of his shirt and could feel his warm breath on my face. Being this close to him made me tremble, but only in a good way.

"Edrick..." I whispered, looking up to meet his gaze.

He stared down at me silently, with only his glowing silver eyes conveying his emotion. There was something harsh and dominant about them, but something soft, too.

Suddenly, Edrick bent down to kiss me. His kiss was deep and passionate, and his tongue began to work its way in between my parted lips as our breaths intertwined. I felt his arm wrap firmly around my waist, and he pulled me close. It was almost a little too rough, but at the same time it sent an excited shiver down my spine. My entire body bristled with titillation; finally, after seemingly becoming closer to me after the most recent weeks, I could be intimate with Edrick again.

Everything felt as though it was falling into place, and I couldn't have been happier.
As he kissed me deeply and sensually, Edrick's hands slid up my back, through my hair and around the nape of my neck. He tilted my chin up further with his hands as he cupped my face. I felt a soft, involuntary moan escape my lips, and I pressed my hands up against his chest and began to work at his shirt buttons while his lips traveled down to my throat.

While I worked at his buttons, he suddenly pulled my hands away and picked me up as though I weighed nothing. I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me to his bedroom, and he laid me down on the bed.

He pressed his body against mine, running his hand up my leg and pushing up my nightgown as he kissed my lips. I could feel his erection through his pants, pressing against me and reminding me of the night that we first had our fated one night stand. I remembered how big he was, and it made me want to feel that sensation of fullness inside of me again.

His kisses traveled across my jaw, then down my neck and down to my chest, only stopping where the lace of my nightgown covered my skin. Once he reached that point, he looked up at me, as though silently asking permission to remove my nightgown. I bit my lip and nodded slowly, watching as he slid a finger under the strap and slid it off of my shoulder. The fabric fell down and exposed my round, milky white breast in the moonlight. Goosebumps were already raised on my skin, and my nipple was hard. I wanted him to kiss my breasts. I wanted him to kiss my entire body.

And he was about to.
But then, he just... stopped. The silver light in his eyes faded back to gray, and he quickly covered my breast again before sitting up and putting distance between us. His face looked red with embarrassment, and he avoided my gaze. I sat up abruptly, my eyebrows knit together with worry.

"What's wrong?" I asked, feeling a pang in my chest as I looked at him.

Edrick shook his head and stood. "You have to stop releasing your scent," he said, his voice low and stern. "It's not fair. It makes me... It makes me lose control."

My eyes widened. I didn't know that Mina had released her scent yet again, and I would have to reprimand her for it later as we had agreed that she would ask for permission first. But at the same time, I didn't fully understand why we had to keep doing this.

"What does it matter?" I asked, standing and letting my thin nightgown fall back down around my legs. "We want each other. Why can't we just be intimate for once?"

"I just can't," Edrick replied, sounding almost annoyed. "It's not right."

I furrowed my brow. "I'm carrying your baby," I said. My voice was beginning to raise slightly. "We've announced ourselves publicly as a couple. We sleep in the same bed, for goodness' sake. Why do we need to keep doing this? What makes it not right?"

Edrick's face darkened. Instead of answering, he turned and walked over to the door to leave, but I ran after him. I wasn't going to let him just storm off, just like he always did when we got too close and he felt the need to distance himself from me for no apparent reason. I grabbed his arm, maybe a little harder than I meant to, causing him to freeze and stare down at me with wide eyes.

"Just talk to me, Edrick," I said. "This has gone on for too long. I want to know the real reason behind why you find it so abhorrent to be intimate with me."

"Because!" Edrick said, almost shouting now. He whirled around to face me fully, and his face was twisted with an expression that I couldn't read. "I will never marry you! Not you, and not anyone, and I don't want to give you the wrong idea! I don't care that you're my mate. The mate bond means nothing."

My jaw dropped at Edrick's words. I clapped my hand over my mouth and shook my head, my eyes widening as I took a step backwards.
He knew all along that he was my mate? So my wolf's intuition was true after all?

Edrick's eyes were just as wide as mine as we stared at each other in complete silence. I could tell that he didn't mean to reveal it, but there was no taking it back now.

I didn't know what to say; I didn't even know where to begin. The fact alone that Edrick knew that I was his mate all along and never said anything hurt enough, but now to know that he still planned on not being with me despite knowing that I was supposed to be his mate just made me sick to my stomach.

I couldn't be here anymore; tonight, I would sleep in my own room, away from him. I needed space to think. Without another word, I quickly brushed past Edrick. As I ran across the penthouse to my room, Edrick didn't seem to be following me, either.

Once the door was locked behind me, I threw myself down on my bed that night, and stared listlessly up at the moonlight- speckled ceiling.
Never before had I heard of a mate refusing the mate bond. And now, it was happening to me.
Why did it seem as though I was cursed when it came to love?