Ice Cold Love

Part 13

Warning: language

Amelia's POV

Veronica and Lily invited me to join them for the season's first hockey game. With a sigh, I turned away from my assignment, removed my glasses, and rubbed my tired eyes, feeling the strain of hours spent staring at a screen.

In a world where a man called Ronan didn't exist, I probably would have agreed to go in a heartbeat, grateful for the chance to spend time with them. Sadly, that wasn't the world I lived in.

I tried telling them that I was working that evening, so I wouldn't be able to go even if I wanted to, but they saw through my fib like it was a ghost. I cursed myself for giving them my work schedule.

"This is about Ronan, isn't it?" Veronica asked, her hands on her hips. Lily, who had been updated about what happened a few days ago at the party, cracked a grin. "I can't believe I missed seeing you put that man in his place," she complained from her spot on my bed as she typed furiously at her phone. "That really must have been a sight to see."

"Oh, Hunter said it was. Ronan was pissed out of his mind," Veronica added between laughs, getting Lily to join in on her giggling. I huffed in frustration, "So what if I yelled at him? He deserved it for being so unbelievably irresponsible."

"So," Lily started, putting her phone down, "No one says shit to Ronan Harding, babe, no one. He's not a guy people mess with." Veronica hummed in agreement.

I shook my head at them in disbelief. That was ridiculous. He was obviously a type one jerk. King of assholes. Master of dickheads. How people didn't go off at him all the time was a mystery to me.

"I don't care, guys. He can be all big and bad, but I don't regret what I said to him. He deserved that and worse for how stupid he was." I claimed, and with that, I turned back to my assignment.

"And, no, I'm not going to the game," I added, sliding my glasses back on. I didn't want to even see the man for a second, never mind for an hour or two or however long a hockey game was.

Screw games and hockey and Ronan Harding, they could all go to hell.

****

I shut the door softly as I entered the surprisingly quiet apartment, exhausted from a day of classes and a busy shift at the clinic. Veronica had texted me earlier that she and Lily were going to hang out with Hunter and his friends before their game. They invited me, but I was still at work at the time.

Wearily, I dragged myself to my room, my eyes drooping. I didn't care what time it was, I fully planned on climbing into bed and not getting out until my next shift tomorrow afternoon.

I kicked my shoes off in my room, dumped my bags near the door and made a beeline for the bathroom. As I got changed into my pyjamas and cleaned up for the night, I heard my phone ring from my room.

When I quickly finished up in the bathroom, I checked my phone and saw an unknown number flash on the screen. It took me a few seconds to piece everything together, but when I did, I took a shaking breath before answering.

"Amelia! Its Dad," my father's voice was rough as he spoke. "I don't have much time. The call might be traced. How are you? How's Mom?"

"Hey Dad," my words were quieter than I wanted them to be. I fiddled with the hem of my shirt as I pressed the phone to my ear. "We're good, Mom's alright," I mumbled.

"That's good. I'm almost done with my work, so I'll hopefully be seeing you guys soon," he said with conviction. I held back a sigh at his statement.

It didn't matter how many times he told me the same lie, it still pierced me with pain every time I heard it. It still hurt to know what his "work" really was, and it hurt more because he thought Mom and I had no clue as to what he was doing. He thought we weren't at all effected by what he did.

"That's nice Dad, I look forward to seeing you," I forced the words through gritted teeth, my insides churning with conflicting emotions as I played along. It was always the same dance, the same song, when he called. It had been for years.

"How's school going? Senior year's close, you should start looking for uni's to apply to."

I tried to hide my pain as I spoke, "I will soon," I promised as I sunk down onto my bed. My hand shook, and my temples throbbed. Suddenly, my room felt suffocating small and breathing became a struggle for air.

"I, erm," I shut my eyes tightly, trying to think of what to say. "I have to go Amelia," he said and I heard some noise on the other side, as if he was moving around. "Alri-" the line went dead.

I looked down at the blank screen as my feelings formed a hurricane inside me. Anger. Hurt. Betrayal. They all took their time slicing through me, making their presence known as they went.

The facts that my mind brought to my attention didn't help. My father was a criminal. He was wanted. He didn't know what happened. He had psychosis and he was delusional. He didn't accept that he had these issues. He didn't take his medication. He lied. He didn't care. He didn't care. He didn't care.

My thoughts and feelings drowned me, and for a while, I gave into them. I let them flow and do as they pleased. I allowed myself to have these few moment of weakness, even though they were hurting me more than helping me.

It took me a while to shut them all down and climb out of myself. I realised I was curled in a ball on the floor. Tears stained my cheeks, unnoticed until I felt their wetness. My hands were clenched into fists so tight my knuckles had turned white and there were small indents on my palms from where my nails had dug into them.

Times like this, I wondered why I even bothered with the man I called my father when I knew how hard it was to deal with him and talk to him. When I knew he would lie and his words would hurt me either way.

But I knew why I put myself through it; a tiny part of me was still hopeful. I still thought that there was a small, minute chance that maybe, just maybe, things could be better. Maybe, I could have back the father that taught me how to ride a horse and helped me do my homework. The man that let me dress him up as a princess and spent hours dancing with my mother whenever she needed cheering up. A part of me still believed that he was in there somewhere.

Irritation and restlessness coursed through me, my exhaustion long gone. I cleared my throat as I picked my phone up to call Lily. She answered on the third ring.

"Hey Mia, what's up?" she asked sweetly. Hearing her voice, hearing anyone else's voice except his at this point, was a relief.

"Send me your location. I changed my mind." I told her, flinching slightly when people suddenly started chanting in the background. I didn't hear what she said as she hung up, but it sounded like something along the lines of 'no fucking way'.

I tossed my phone onto my bed as I slowly got up from my place on the floor and made my way to my closet to find something to wear. I was going to the hockey game.