Ice Cold Love

Part 22

Warning: language

Amelia's POV

I stayed holed up in my room for two days, and I would have stayed longer had I not received an email from Professor Anderson calling me in for an urgent meeting on Friday.

I seriously contemplated not going, but I knew that I had to put an end to my hibernation eventually. What happened, happened, and I couldn't stay in denial for the rest of the academic year. I would be facing Conner one day or another, and while I could try to discuss getting a different student to tutor, I had to accept that that might not be a possibility.

After double-checking the meeting time and place, I shut my laptop and put it back on charge. I had left my broken phone in Ronan's car and solely depended on my laptop the last three days. I hadn't had the heart to ask Veronica or Lily to retrieve my phone for me, not that it would have been of any use if I did have it. I had thrown it a little too hard.

I knew I needed to take a shower, since I hadn't taken one since Ronan had dropped me off. The sight of the bruises conner had left on my arm and waist irked me, but I forced myself to not look at them too long and get on with what I needed to do. I didn't need people running from me because of my hibernation stench.

Lily and Veronica stuck their heads into my room on as I got ready to go to university. The looks of concern on their faces drew a sigh out of me. I hadn't told them what had happened, and they were worried sick wondering what was wrong with me and why I hadn't left the apartment, even for classes.

"Good morning, guys," I greeted them, an eyebrow raised as I picked out some clothes. It was a cold November morning, the sky a reflection of the storm brewing in my mind.

My friends settled themselves down on my bed as I pulled a black oversized hoodie off a hanger and found my favourite black jeans. When Lily caught sight of what I'd chosen to wear, she grimaced.

"What?" I asked, looking down at my clothes. A basic black outfit always worked well on days I didn't feel like dressing up.

"You're choosing to dress darker than Conner's soul today," she said. I knew she was only joking; I knew she meant well; but that didn't stop me from physically flinching at her words. Lily and Veronica's laughter seized the moment they noticed my uneasiness.

They shared a look between themselves, the one where they were somehow speaking but not speaking. "I didn't mean to offend you," Lily said tentatively.

"Oh, no," I clarified immediately, not wanting her to feel bad. I sat myself down in my desk chair and spun around to face them, my hands rubbing my face tiredly.

"You didn't offend me, it's not that," I told Lily and attempted to smile to ensure the point got across. The last thing I wanted was to make Lily or Veronica think I was upset with them, especially when they hadn't done anything wrong.

The last two days they tried to talk to me and ask what was wrong, but when they understood that I wasn't up for discussing anything, they respectfully gave me the space I needed. Veronica even made me my favourite breakfast yesterday, in hopes that it might cheer me up.

"Then what's wrong?" Lily asked me.

I let my head hang and shifted my gaze to my feet as I thought about what to say, how to explain. It wasn't a matter of trust; I knew they would respect my privacy and not go around blabbing my personal issues to anyone. Yet still, there was this portion of my mind nagging at me to not tell them, to not tell anyone.

I once read somewhere that if you talk about something, that means it matters, and if it matters, that means it's real. Did I want this problem to be real? Did I want to face it, deal with it, heal from it?