In the Shadows

Part Ten: the Spring

*CW: self harm, suicidal ideation*

The days that followed meeting Anthony face to face were nothing less than blissful. Day and night the butterflies stayed in my stomach, I was tickled with happiness and excitement. How I wished I met him before Cain.

    Anthony had left few days ago. He was a part of a travel baseball team in addition to the high school team. The travel team was highly regarded in California, they were back to back to back champions. They have been nationally ranked for years and were even invited to competitions internationally. Since joining the team in only eighth grade, Anthony and the Knights have gone undefeated. He said they would be on the road for about a week, playing at a different college field along the entire California coast. The last game would be at their home field on Friday. Some big scouts would be there to watch him, but he wasn't nervous.

He promised to see me right after, and I couldn't wait to see him too.

It was surprising each day, the feelings I was having. It was like walking on a cloud. I had become so light. Suddenly, I was floating and finally able to breathe. Or so I thought.

I was walking down the hall towards the art room, when the anchor pulled me back under water. Cain was here.

I froze before he even looked over at me. My blood ran cold.

His eyes met mine, with a twisted grin he said, "There she is."

He walked towards me. I felt like I was choking.

"How you been, newbie?" He wrapped me in a soft hug. I could feel his body growing tense as I did not hug back. Cain took a step back, yanking my sketchbook out of my hands as he did.

He immediately flipped through the pages, a few loose papers falling to the ground. Stopping halfway through, he scoffed at my drawings. In one swift motion, he tossed the book into a nearby garbage can. He took me by the hand and led me around the corner, where no one could see us. The bell rang, late again.

"I didn't come here for you, so don't get confused. I needed to get some stuff from my dad and that's it."

"Fine." I mumbled.

"What? You're not happy to see me?"

Why would I be? I couldn't get any words out.

"I heard you've been spending time with some loser junior."

I clenched my teeth, "He's not some loser, don't confuse him for yourself."

Cain's smile dropped. He rubbed his short blonde hair, it looked like he had buzzed the whole thing off over winter break. With the other hand, he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. I recoiled in pain.

"I wouldn't go talking to anyone, if I were you." He whispered in my ear, squeezing my arm a bit harder, "He's not going to want you once he knows you're all used up. No one likes sloppy seconds. You're still mine."

He let go and walked away without another word. I wanted to collapse, but remained frozen, my head was spinning. Was he right?

I slowly began walking back to my art class, stopping to look into the trashcan for my sketch book. The pages were soaked in the remains of everyone's lunch.

Feeling defeated, I made my way to my seat. Everyone was already busy, painting away at the tall canvases on their easels. A stereotypical bowl of fruits sat in the center of the room on a table, covered with heavy fabrics. All the other students worked steadily mixing just the right colors and adding shapes across the blank surfaces.