The Beast I Am

Chapter 5

The rhythmic hiss and suffocation of steam woke me. I was still in his room. The memories from the night before crashed all at once, sending my heart into a panic that made my captor turn.

The formal wear I had already grown accustomed to was discarded for loose linens, the cream fabric bunched around the creases of his elbows as he worked, the iron in his hand hissing softly. A string was caught between us, invisible and taught, his typically perfectly groomed locks rumpled and curling at odd angles around his ears. Rhazien didn't come to my side, instead lowering the heat on the house tool with a soft click. I pushed myself up, resting against the plush headboard, my head foggy but otherwise lighter than I had felt in days since I had first woken. His bed felt vast around me, cradling me in such a way that I felt the need to tuck my knees to my chest for comfort.

Rhazien's eyes were dark as he turned back to me, flickering between the sweating glass bottle propped in a melting ice bucket and me. The room was warm, and the smoldering embers of the brick fireplace suggested it had only just been extinguished.

"You can tell me what happened after you eat your breakfast."

A chair had been pulled from its indentation in the corner of the room to sit near the foot of his bed, a short stack of manuscripts tucked against its upholstery. From the bags under his eyes, he hadn't slept; it was a sharpness that hollowed out his warmth. The room's temperature seemed like an attempt to correct that feeling.

"I–"

Rhazien held up a hand, taking up his resting spot, the iron hissing next to a thick, hand-bound medical journal, spread eagle on the ironing board, the right side now significantly flatter than the left. "You eat and then talk, or you don't leave. We don't leave."

I frowned, directing my attention to the familiar stack of information now propped on his dresser. "What are you doing?"

The chair groaned as he turned, a frown creasing the corners of his eyes. "Refurbishing them."

"Those are the ones you gave me." The medical journal, littered with my bookmarks to come back to, information to fall back on. It was an insult that cut deeper than anything else, and I found myself capping the rage simmering in my gut. He demands I read his redundant books, yet erases my hard work? My eye twitched.

The iron hissed again. "Not for keepsake."

"I'm not drinking, that."

Rhazien snorted, the sound catching me off-guard. "It's not like it's cadaver origin. That bottle will make you feel better than any drug. I promise you." A sterner tone accentuated his words, scraping against gravelly bass. Grumpy.

I hugged my knees tighter.

The seconds dripped into minutes, the steam irritating him enough to lurch to his feet. His fists tight as he unclenched them, continuing the work diligently. If he wanted to say something, the tightness in his jaw prevented it.

I couldn't help but wonder if locking himself in here with me was some sort of self-inflicting punishment.

"What happened last night?"

I swallowed dust, lacing my fingers against my ankles, the skin still raw with a bruise I couldn't see. The memory fresh in my muscles, my hands aching in a remembrance chill.

"I'll start to refresh your memory." Hiss. A page turning, his hands gingerly placing the towel on the dog-eared corner, the iron pressing against the cloth, "We lost power to the house. I was restarting the generator when I heard thumping from your room." Rhazien stopped. Setting the iron down, his hand hovering over a short stack of paper slices. "I tried to speak to you, but you didn't respond. Luther was hissing, and that's when I knew something was wrong." His fingers fluttered back to life, deftly slipping the homemade bookmark over the page as he continued, "I tried to get in, but you had barricaded the door. I–" Rhazien clicked the iron off.