The Beast I Am

Chapter 17

"Let me spar with you."

Rhazien sputtered, nearly choking on his morning breakfast, warmed in his mug. He looked rough for wear, the bags under his eyes deep, and I wondered if he slept at all. Other than the hangover-like grogginess, Rhazien was himself, and that revelation made the skitter my lungs were doing cease.

I smacked the bulging file folder onto Rhazien's desk. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're extremely thorough. There's no way I'll get out of this without a struggle." I stilled my face, my nose twitching at the growing ember in his eyes that I now recognized as his Beast. "And as much as I hate to admit it..." This time, the words came out more bitter than I intended, "You clearly don't have all that bulk for no reason. You were supposed to teach me– so teach me."

Rhazien's eyes shifted to look at the folder, his body completely still as he held his mug. "I take it you're caught up, then?" The flicker was quick but didn't go unnoticed by me as he took in my outfit.

I crossed my arms, crinkling the graphic of his tee. "By some twisted fate, yes, I'm caught up."

I spent hours pouring over the documents as I nursed my stomach, and only one name was ever mentioned outside of Luther and Ruthanne: Phil. It must have been code to keep her truth out of anyone's mouth. I hadn't expected any of this to be straightforward in the slightest, but already, it was starting to do my head in. Like Rhazien, I just wanted to hole up and be left alone.

"I met with Phil. She gave me the dagger– if you want me to help you get your brother back, I will need to be ready for anything. I don't–" I stopped myself before I could finish the sentence, 'Trust my Domineuro abilities.' As far as I knew, Rhazien didn't remember anything from the rest of that night, and bringing it up to possibly jog those memories was a horrid idea. The golden pendant was a constant warm buzz in my pocket as I shifted, keeping the Spector at bay. "The chances of me getting a finger from Ruth are next to none. So, I need to learn how to dissociate and stab correctly."

Rhazien's brow twitched, his nose wrinkling slightly, his gaze skipping past me to his brother, who had padded into the cramped office. "No."

I wanted to fucking scream.

"Why not?!"

"I explained to you, very clearly, how I would not be aiding you. If you wanted my help, you should have thought about that before you left." The Seneschal's voice was smooth, low, and distantly cruel, his gaze jumping back to me.

The hands-on the back of the chair before his desk screeched in rage. My teeth squeaked as I chewed on my tongue before a gentle fog calmed my anger and cleared my mind. "Fine. I'll call Estelle then. Surely, the Warden has plenty she can teach me. And I'm sure I'll have plenty of answers to all her questions."

Rhazien leaned back, his fingers tenting over a crossed knee, the border of his lip curling slightly. "Fine then. How're you going to do that?"

My Beast was itching for a fight, but I forced her to remain still. I was planning to beat Rhazien to a pulp, but that was for later. "I'll get creative. Maybe do something public..."

His eyes flashed angrily, "Do not joke about that. Not with the power The Prince holds over you."

"It's my punishment. I'll joke about it however I want–"

"You've never seen it." Rhazien's office had begun to feel looming, the shelves towering over me. "To be put to death without– It is not a fate I would wish on my worst enemy."

I swallowed dust, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment. "Gotcha..." I cleared my throat, looking back to the door, where Luther hovered, the tip of his tail flicking over his paws. "Well, if you want him back," I jerked a thumb at the feline. I have to be prepared. So, you can find me in the gym if you decide to be proactive..." I rolled my eyes, stepping over Luther as I headed for the Dojo.