The Beast I Am

Chapter 12

I stared at the back of his head as if it would give me answers, counting the street corners we passed to get there. Everything counted now. The tightness of his brow didn't cease for an instant as I watched Rhazien pick through his own malicious thoughts.

Had he figured it out? Rhazien wasn't stupid; he knew I wasn't Rauvau, and now I couldn't be Kina. I swallowed, the pressure of the movement feeling unnatural. I couldn't help the flood of thoughts on future punishments and secret dungeons buried within the house.

My consciousness quickly became crowded with uncertainties and cruel and unusual punishments by the time we arrived back at his brownstone. I nearly collapsed out of the car when the Seneschal held the door open for me. Rhazien's features were tight as he refused to look at me, his coat extended for me to take.

I muttered my thanks and slipped it on, his scent lingering but no longer overpowering. The sensation was enough to stop me at the bottom of the steps.

This whole time.

My hands were getting hot, the cool air making them steam in the night from his jacket pockets. Rhazien slid the key into the door, his chin tilting ever so slightly, his growl stiffening my resolve,

"Get inside."

Ezekiel cleared his throat behind me, my rage filtering through a flurry of footsteps as I stormed after him into the receiving room. Luther was waiting for us, the lanky cat coming to twirl around my legs, his tail wrapping around my calf as he leaned up to sniff my form. I forced a shaky breath, shoving my Beast back into her cage as I picked up the feline, settling myself into Rhazien's green chair.

The Seneschal returned with two large decanters– unlabeled– and a set of short whiskey glasses. He hesitated for a moment, grunting at my choice of seat disapprovingly. The movement seemed restrained as he set up the display between us, his focus much too fierce for setting up a social tea.

"How do I know it's not yours?"

His eye twitched as he uncorked a decanter, poured a hearty glass, and shot it back in one deep gulp, thunking it back on the table almost like a challenge.

My nose wrinkled, my hands reflexively petting Luther. "That doesn't–"

"Shove it." Rhazien's bark bristled Luther's fur, my own hackles rising to join him as my scowl grew. "You don't get to act stupid anymore– not after what you just pulled with Valentine." He snapped, pouring us both a glass this time, using his crystal to nudge mine towards me before scoffing, "Don't flatter yourself. I wouldn't go through the equivalent of drinking my own piss just to Bond you." He snorted, leaning into the couch and draping his arm over the back of it.

With a wave of his hand, the doors to the room were erased.

I swallowed, ignoring the spark of fear that teased at the lid of my Beast, the walls built around us now in beautiful mahogany. "You can change the scenery; it's still a prison."

Something flickered in his eyes that was hard to read, his jaw set. "Just a precaution so you can't cause any more damage."

I took the glass with a scowl; my hands had already begun to tremble with hunger. I'd felt fresh and alive for about 10 seconds before everything was stripped away. Between my Frenzy and the Ritual Arasmastus and Valentine performed, my internal supply was already at a dangerously low level. So, I swallowed my pride with the contents of the glass. Holding my moan as I drank, rich and earthy like coffee and dark chocolate. I poured myself another glass, deciding it would be better warmed, keeping it in my palms as I let that thread of anger run to my hands. Testing the balance of how easy it was to call my Beast without the control valve of my heart to stop me. The whole time, he watched me unblinking.