Capturing the Wild: Hockey Romance

Prologue: St. Paul Minnesota

** TW mentions of Alcoholism and Abuse**

It's the first week of September and I feel like I am in University all over again. I'm in my childhood bedroom folding my clothes into boxes and checking under my bed 3 times to make sure there are no stray socks or forgotten items. Not so long ago I was in this exact position packing for my next four years in university but it looks very different now. Now I am packing blazers instead of crop tops and rather than leaving behind any books or blankets knowing I would be coming back, I am packing up my entire life knowing that this could be one of the last times that I set foot in my childhood bedroom.

During the summer I got a phone call that completely changed my life. I am officially the newest photographer of the Minnesota Wild PR team, which means that I had to make the incredibly difficult decision to leave Canada, get a work VISA for the states and move 1477 km, while I guess I should get used to saying nearly 1000 miles, to St. Paul Minnesota leaving everything I know and love behind. To be completely fair, it was not that big of a decision considering the list of things that I know and love is not that long. I moved away from home when I was 18 to attend Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) for Image Arts and Photo Studies. During these four years, I met some of my best friends, fell in love (don't remind me), got my heart broken and began focusing on academics rather than my social life. It was a typical life as a university student, but I loved every second of it. Unfortunately, while my life in University was taking off, and I found new independence and confidence, life at home shifted.

I came to the realization that the people that I thought were always looking out for my best interest, my so-called parents, were really trying their best to ensure that I went nowhere in life. After my dad died and my mom remarried, life was already so different. My step dad was okay, but I knew that he had anger issues and sometimes treated me like shit, but my mom was happy so that's all that mattered to me. As I got older I noticed that he drank a lot, and when he did is when he became the most angry so I made sure to avoid him. He never physically hurt me, but he would scream and punch the wall to the point where I was terrified... but he made my mom happy.

At first my parents attempted to talk me out of University before I even applied, by saying that I was not ready for life outside of their home and I was not mature enough. I believed that since they were my parents and they knew best, but I wanted to go to University so badly. So I applied to local schools to help keep them happy. Living near Toronto was not all that bad, considered the best school for photography was only a half hour away. When I told my mom that I was going to TMU she did not speak to me for a week and refused to pay, and I almost declined my offer, but I wanted this more than anything. I got a job to help bring in some money and since I had an academic scholarship my tuition was almost already paid for. I was able to save up enough for my living and the rest of my tuition for the first year, but I knew that I would have to keep working my ass off in order to graduate.

It wasn't until I began meeting new people and getting closer to my dorm roommate that I started noticing that my parents were not in fact looking out for my best interest, but were rather attempting to make sure I would always be home to take care of them. They started calling me for money, and pleading with me that since I was able to pay for my school, I should be able to help them pay off their bills. When I said no, they started guilt tripping me by stating that they paid for everything for me for 18 years and I needed to pay them back for everything they have given me. Long story short, my parents were assholes and I kept my distance for a while, but they are my parents, so I still call my mom every few months, or visit just to check in, but they get nothing from me.

When I told my mom about my job opportunity in Minnesota she forbade me from going. I don't think she realized that I am 22 years old and do not need her permission to move to the US and start a new life, so I started packing. The only factor that I even considered were my best friends from university. My roommates Grace and Eve, Eve's boyfriend Cole and his best friend Noah were my chosen family. That was until we all graduated and moved across the province. Eve and Cole broke up shortly after, separating the friend group. I talk to Noah on occasion, but never hear from Cole. Grace moved back to Ottawa and I still talk to her whenever I can, but she is working in politics and I haven't seen her in months. Eve on the other hand I see all the time as she lives in Toronto, but she changed after the break up and apparently I am a constant reminder of her ex so she's always sad around me and never really reaches out. And considering my recently ex boyfriend is dead to me, he wasn't a factor at all. If anything it was just another reason to leave this god awful city.