𝘛𝘦 𝘢𝘮𝘰, 𝘧𝘢𝘳𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘢 | 𝘙𝘐𝘎𝘌𝘓 𝘞𝘐𝘓𝘋𝘌

viii. Why do you give me butterflies?

Why do you give me butterflies?

'✭.<Lenora Salvatore>.*•
I can't still love you

I gotten a lily in my locker for garden day, which really only two people who know, Fernando who i doubt would send a lily he would send roses instead and then there is Rigel. But I didn't think he took our kiss that seriously maybe I thought it was just going to be a one time thing.

I tried to look for him but he was no where to be seen, I'd just assumed he wasn't there that day so I dragged myself back to my locker opening it again to see a full bouquet of pink and white roses along with a note that say 'open me! :)' in Fernando's handwriting.

I had took the note with me to class so I can read it in there. I had English which is a subject that I could slack off a bit it won't be such a big deal.

For her,

You were my first for everything, the one who made me to keep going and to fight for a little longer. You showed me what love should feel like what it felt to be wanted.

The way you talked so much on our first date like we barely met each other and I always thought how much I could just keep listening to you over and over. That is what made me realized how hard I fell for you.

I don't know if I would ever be able to show you this but if I do, I want it to be us. At the end of everything me and you. You and i going through good and bad together. I just only want to be together with you. Nothing in the world can change that.

I love you more than I can give.

Fernando.

I felt myself smiling and wanting to cry at the same time, I felt like I was never assured enough from him. It was hard to know if he felt the same about me but he must have been putting all his feelings in letters.

Once done with class I supposed I will go talk to him, he seems like his anger has calmed down from everything so it would be a better time to talk to him; class went by fast and I immediately tried to find him after class, which I did he was at his locker and I walked over, I've never been so nervous.

I cleared my throat to get his attention, he shut his locker and looked at me confused. "I got your note. Did you want to talk?" I said, he just blankly stared at me before finally answering. "Sure."

We had walked outside and took a seat on a bench, each at the end leaving a large space in the middle. I was sat where I could face him he in the hand was slouched tapping his fingers on his leg. "The letter you gave me....it was really sweet."

He nodded still looking forward, avoiding all sort of eye contact towards me. "Why didn't you ever give me these?" He shrugged. Is he nervous is he anxious why isn't he speaking to me. "Can you actually talk to me. And not just sit there."

"Why does it matter anyway you're with Rigel." He said, I was taken aback. Well like yeah Rigel is super cute and charming and intense but I'm still finding assurance myself if he actually likes me like that. "Rigel and I, we are nothing. We are friends." Friends that kissed.

"Oh yeah, Friends that runs off during the night and not turning up until late?" He got defensive and I don't want to push him anymore knowing his history. "You know what forget about it." I said, I wiped myself off and I saw him just looking at me with tired eyes. "Was it not enough for you?" He asked.

I didn't answer him and he stood up to face me. He towered over to me with his hand in his pockets. "Everything, was it not just good enough for you. Did you want more from me?"

"I should be asking you that...you are the one who cheated on me." He blinked and before he could continue I saw Olive and Reka. Thank goodness. "There you are we need to hear some..." Olive stopped talking once she saw Fernando. He put his hand to his chest where I saw a chain through his uniform, he noticed me looking at him and his jaw clenched.

Reka and Olive grabbed my arm making us walking past him. "What was up with him?" Reka asked. Olive shrugged and they circled around me chuckling. "So tell us all the hot gossip that happened last night." Olive giggled, wiggling her eyebrows in excitement.

"Yeah girl. You left us on delivered for hours. We thought you got grounded." Reka added. Oh well that funny little thing about that..."I did. Fernando's parents told my parents that we broke up, I got grounded and can't leave my house for five weekends and..."

Best part of all. "Rigel came to my house to return my cardigan even though we were gonna exchange them on a weekend but...He asked me to go with him and sneak off." They both gasped and squealed. "So we did, he took me to this gelato place and we went to go eat it at park. It was freezing and he gave me his jacket."

The jacket still smelt like his cologne, it lays behind my mirror where my parents can't find them. "Then we kissed..." I whispered, they screamed and grabbed my shoulders shaking me. "How was it! Was he aggressive like in the books or was he soft and gentle?" Olive asked.

"Both I guess?!" It was definitely a mix of both. And oh how it would feel to be in the books with a boy who kisses me aggressively, gets jealous and shows everyone that I'm his.

"But I pulled away because of him and Nica..." I confessed. They both made the mouth agape in disappointment. "Girl! You need to stop worrying  about her, if they were dating then it would be more obvious! You need to get her out of your mind and get him in your mind." Reka said crossing her arms and Olive agreeing with her.

"You are telling me that isn't obvious" I said tilting my head over to the side, Nica had him pushed against the wall while he looked at her with a smirk. "You got to be serious."