Chapter 50

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A part of me regretted the choice l had made when l left the fertility clinic but it was already done. The baby was gone. The baby that was going to tie both Elena and me for life was gone.
In these past few days l saw a part of Elena that l didn't like or at least that l didn't know existed.She was like a totally different person and l didn't want a repeat of Selena with her. Maybe l was selfish man but at least l owned up to my mistakes and faults. Elena wasn't even going to be a good mother to that baby in the first place.
The surrogate carrying the baby didn't give a dime what happened to the baby as long as l gave her money and it showed just how stupid Elena was. Who picks a gold digging person to carry their baby.
l knew she was stupid but that was just a confirmation of how careless and immature she was. l already had a crazy ,drug and alcohol addicted baby mamma in my life and quiet frankly l didn't need another.
As much as l had every good reason to do this, l couldn't help but think about the little part of me that didn't get to see this world because of a decision l took. l wondered if forgiveness for such an act was possible because l will always carry this guilt.
l went straight to our bedroom when l arrived home because l needed to talk to Elena first so that she doesn't keep on hoping for something that wasn't ever going to happen. l knew that she was going to be heartbroken if she heard it from someone else so l had to do it myself. l had to look at her in the eyes so that she knew how much this decision had hurt me too.
She was sitting on the bed with her back on the headboard while looking at her phone when l found her.
"You're early " she said without even looking at me. Since Elena was a mafia princess she was trained and her reflexes were good because she knew it was me before she even checked.
"We need to talk " l said softly so that she wouldn't get bat shit angry at me but that was just hopeful thinking.
"About what" she said glancing at me tentatively.
"The baby " l said sitting at the sofa near the bed.
"What about the baby" she asked miserably and l felt her pain because it was like her heart knew what had happened but she wanted me to say it.
"The girl had an abortion" l said like l had nothing to do with it but she saw right through me.
"You bastard" she roared jumping from the bed towards me.
"Am sorry but l couldn't let you keep it" l said letting her pummel me with her fists.
"You killed my baby" she cried bitterly in my chest and guilt gnawed at me. No matter how much l tried to convince myself otherwise but l did this.
"l'll take everything from you" she screamed at me but l didn't take her threats to heart because she was grieving and heartbroken.
"l'll destroy you and everything you care about"

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