Julian

IV. April, Ch. 48

     Calvin stepped outside of himself, trying to wrap his head around his situation.

     His body and health were intact. He didn't suffer from a biological deficiency in anything.

     His lungs had oxygen. His veins had blood. His eyes could see and his ears could hear.

     His back had a shirt. His wallet had money. His head had a roof.

     But he felt as though half of his limbs were missing, as if his intestines were occupied by an army of selfish parasites.

     He wanted sleep. He wanted numbness. He wanted to disappear like a gas.

     He wanted her. Her lemon and cherry scent, her raspy laugh, her villainous eyes, her smart mouth, her mood swings, her flirtatious wisecracks. If he couldn't have her, he wanted nothing else, good or bad.

     All Calvin wanted now was a beating, the worst of his life. If it killed him, all the better, but all he cared about was feeling on the outside what was too toxic to feel on the inside.

     The only problem was Calvin's inexperience in starting fights. There weren't enforcers for hire in The Yellow Pages, and he was too much of a coward to do the damage to himself.

     So he roamed the dark downtown San Kolbe streets, walking past the financial district, the Snippy's, and the underground club for the hundredth time.

     With any luck, he'd attract a mugger or two, perhaps one of those violent taxi drivers Genevieve talked about.

     These men would give him the bruises he so desired.

     Identifying them was harder than he expected. What did he have to do to get another man to throw a punch?

     He was equally inexperienced in masculine insults.

     Calvin stood outside the Lincoln Hotel, when he noticed two large, suspicious men leaning against a car and smoking cigarettes a good ten yards away.

     Bingo.

     All he had to do was tempt them, and soon he'd be on the concrete with their toes pounding against his stomach.

     He slid his hands in his pockets and brought his shoulders in. He wanted to look as weak and insecure as possible.

     They seem to have noticed, as they lifted their heads and looked directly at him. The largest man flicked his cigarette on the sidewalk before making his way towards Calvin.

     That's it. Come here and take my watch.

     To Calvin's surprise, he felt the forgotten tingle of excitement.

     A voice called out behind him. "Junior?"

     Calvin stopped. Perhaps a mugger was closer than he thought. He turned around.

     George's familiar face smiled genuinely at him. He was in the middle of stepping into his town car parked directly in front of the hotel, and now he was approaching him with open arms. "Hey, I knew it was you."

     Calvin wasn't happy to see him. He wanted to be left alone to be violently beaten. Was that so much to ask? "Mr. Cassles?"

     George brought him close in a friendly embrace."For the last time, it's just George. What brings you downtown?"

     The thirst for violence committed against me. "Oh, you know. Just checking out the sites."

     "I see. Hey, is Genevieve with you? I'd love to meet her."