Twice Born

Chapter 23

I spend the rest of the day in the chamber down below weak and delirious. The candle casts dancing shadows on the ceiling above me. Like sinister manifestations of the madness overtaking me. With every hour that brings me closer to Eve, I’m dragged deeper and deeper into an unending darkness.

Oblivion.

I don’t notice I’ve moaned until the sound bounces off the walls. My fingers scrape at the stone beneath me. I barely feel the abrasions caused by the rough, grainy surface  

For the hundredth time, my mind slips from this world. I’m caught in another real-like dream, replaying my life in snippets of color and sound.

“Jump!” Eve calls out.

You’ll get me killed, I reply.

“I’ll be here to make sure that doesn’t happen. Live a little, Bree.”

Squealing, I leap from the rock and into the churning white water. It pulls me under, its currents pounding into me and sweeping my body down the roaring river. Eve is there at the fringes, ready to jump in in case my willpower isn’t enough to sustain us both.

I don’t let her take over. I need to prove myself. My pride depends on it.

I push the panic back and cut through the water with furious strokes and kicks. I break the surface, gulping in air and laughing at the same time.

Not bad, Eve says.

I grin, warming under her praise.

The dream ends abruptly. A sob escapes my mouth. Being like this is torture. I can’t block or evade the thoughts assaulting my mind. I can’t stop thinking about all of the things I’ve lost, and the things I’ll lose when I’m gone.

I can’t stop thinking about Henry. About that jar of blood.

Then the worst of it starts. It begins with that pressure in my chest I know so well, only now it feels like twice the weight.

Eve, I manage. I want to tell her to go back, to leave me alone before she extinguishes me, but I can’t. The force pushing at me has doubled. I’m clinging to life by the tips of my fingers.

She sees my memories; she understands her presence is killing me. But she does nothing, says nothing. Even after everything, her lack of regard shocks me.

What do you expect me to do? Her words flash through my core, betraying the things she’s hiding from me. They sound stressed, as if she’s struggling to hold on, too.

It’s me or you, Bree.

How can you be so cruel? Anger gives me just a little bit of leverage. Barely.

I’m looking out for myself—as you’ve always looked out for yourself.

I shove back against the heaviness, but it’s futile.

Stop fighting the inevitable, she says. You’ll only make this more painful for yourself. I meant what I said. You don’t deserve this body. You haven’t done anything to earn it.

No.It’s my body. I’ve earned it simply by existing.

I won’t go down with you, she says.

Just as in my memory-dream, I feel submerged in the violent river, struggling against currents stronger than me. But I’ve triumphed before. I swam hard and fought my way to the surface.

Don’t make this harder than it already is, Eve says. Let me live and I’ll do all of the things you failed to do. I’ll avenge Henry by killing Maxwell. I’ll kill Ashin, too. I promise to do this if you’ll stop fighting me.