The Runaway | Ashton Irwin AU

Part 17

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[Ashton's POV]

The aching in my head was no longer only from the hangover but also from the fact that I still had no idea what had happened to my grandmother. I sat slumped over in a chair just down the hall from the room she had been place in. Doctors and nurses scurried around me as phones rung loudly from the nurse's station just a few feet away.

It had been sometime after 4am when I finally got to the hospital. I had sat out in my car for a good 30 minutes before actually going inside. I had received countless sympathetic stares from nurses and visitors alike and as I sat here now I was still getting the same looks. Most of the workers here knew me since my grandmother and I were in and out of here weekly and that just made it worse. The ones who knew me on a first name basis tried to console me like my grandmother was already dead, but I refused to believe that. She was a fighter and that was never going to change.

I thought back to last night and calling Charlie up in the middle of the night. I have never felt more pitiful and needy than I do now and I hoped that Charlie wouldn't take my drunken breakdown to heart. I didn't want her to look at me the way everyone in this building was.

I took a deep breath before dialing Charlie's number, my knee bouncing up and down nervously. It took almost six rings before she picked up and my heart started racing the second she spoke.

"Ash? Are you okay? How's your grandmother?"

Surprisingly a smile tugged a the corners of my lips as I sat back in my chair and sighed loudly, "I'm really sorry about last night."

"Don't apologize for that." The sternness in her voice catching me up for a second, "That was a very stressful thing to have to deal with when drunk and you did everything you could for your grandmother, okay?"

I was quiet, not fully understanding how she could be as sweet as she was but her voice quickly brought me back as she repeated herself, "Okay?"

"Y-yeah, okay." I finally spoke as I looked up, my eyes following after a group of doctors talking loudly with each other.

"So how is she?" Charlie reverted back to her first question.

"I don't really know." My voice was inaudible, "I haven't gone into her room yet."

"And why not?" She sounded more upset than I expected her to.

"Because I'm ashamed."

"Ashton, please stop blaming yourself." She huffed loudly, "You put too much pressure on yourself. It was an accident."

"I just-" I sighed and picked at one of the holes in my jeans, "I should have been there."

Charlie was quiet for the longest time. I had actually pulled the phone away from my ear to see if the call had dropped. There was no way she was going to win this fight. I blamed myself and there was no changing my mind. I'm the only one who can look after my grandmother and I should have been more responsible.

"Think what you want then." She sighed in defeat but I could tell she was annoyed.

"I will."

Her voice was soft when she spoke again, "But you'll call and tell me once you know something, right?"

"Of course." I smiled feeling my cheeks start to burn.

"And I want you to call me whenever you want." The cautiousness of her voice making my sit straight up in my chair as I listened hard to what she was saying, "I don't care what it's about or what time it is. Please just call me and I'll listen."