NERV MEDICAL CENTER CHITOSE
OFFICIAL PATIENT RECORD : [CONFIDENTIAL]
The following is the transcript of a therapy session conducted with patient Yuri Kerensky, age 29. Symptoms include catatonia, mood swings, anhedonia, and some mild cognitive impairment. The interviewer was Father Sergius Mikhailovich Svobodnyi, licensed mental health professional and an ordained priest in the Russian Orthodox Church. For the original, untranslated audio, see the patient's file.
Fr. SVOBODNYI: Tell me about the dreams again, Yuri.
PATIENT: What's there to tell? She's always crying. She never stops crying.
Fr. SVOBODNYI: Who is she?
PATIENT: She doesn't have a name. They never gave her one. How do you -- how am I supposed to --
The patient begins to cry.
PATIENT: No, no. I'm fine. I am fine. I am...
The patient takes a deep breath. In a normal tone:
PATIENT: You know about my grandfather, don't you? I must have told you about him before.
Fr. SVOBODNYI: I don't believe so, no.
PATIENT: Really? Oh, well. In that case, then... my grandfather -- my mother's father, you know -- he was an NKVD man. Back in the bad old days. With Uncle Joe.
Fr. SVOBODNYI: I see.
PATIENT: I never knew him, you see. He killed himself with his service revolver one night. Pew. Straight through the head.
Fr. SVOBODNYI: I'm sorry to hear that.
PATIENT: It was before I was born. Thing is -- I've always wondered about him, you know?
Fr. SVOBODNYI: I'm sure.
PATIENT: I mean, the things he must've done. I can't even imagine... how could he live with himself after that? Honestly live with himself at all? So I wonder -- was it him who pulled the trigger that night? Or all the people that he hurt?
Fr. SVOBODNYI: And you, Yuri. Who did you hurt? What did you do?
PATIENT: Me? Nothing. I did nothing. And that was bad enough...
A pause.
Fr. SVOBODNYI: What are you thinking now?
PATIENT: "The man who has a conscience suffers while acknowledging his sin."
Fr. SVOBODNYI: Is that Dostoyevsky?
PATIENT: Yeah. Had to read it for school. That's the one thing from that book I remember.
Fr. SVOBODNYI: And what does it mean to you, here in this moment?
PATIENT: It means, I think... there needs to be balance in this world, you know? Maybe not eye for an eye. But there needs to be an attempt, doesn't there? It's not enough just to go around talking about the sin. You have to try and make it right. Even if there's no fixing what's been broken. You have to try.
Fr. SVOBODNYI: What sin? Yuri --
PATIENT: And it feels right, you know? Just a little. After all the things they did so that she would move... if I moved for her... there's balance in that, isn't there? There's some justice in that, at least. Don't you think?
Fr. SVOBODNYI: Yuri...
PATIENT: Do you think it'll work? Do you think maybe she'll stop crying? Just for a while?
Fr. SVOBODNYI: I don't know, Yuri.
PATIENT: I know you don't. I know. But maybe she will...
Several days after this session, the patient was found to be missing from his room in the facility. A security guard reported that his sidearm was gone from his locker. The patient's information was forwarded to the relevant authorities, who were further advised that he was armed and potentially dangerous.
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