I Think I Love You (A Phan fiction)

Chapter 5 - Regret

Dan's POV

I stand in the shower and let it disguise my tears. I didn't miss Lucas, but I couldn't help but think that I actually loved him. I've never had anything like this happen to me. My past boyfriends and a few girlfriends have always been a clean breakup. Maybe a couple tears, but that was usually from the other person in the situation. I'm done with relationships... At least for a while. I'm just done. Tears stream down my face. I can tell which drops are tears because they're warmer than the now almost cold shower water. I've been showering for about 45 minutes and our hot water wasn't the most efficient.

"Dan?" I hear the familiar voice of my friend. "Are you alright? You've been in there a long time now."

"I'm fine," my voice cracked. "I'll be out in a few."

I turned the water off and got out of the shower. When I got dressed in my pajamas, I looked in the mirror. My face was red and puffy. Shit, he'll notice. I really don't wanna have to explain anything right now. I take my time in the bathroom while I straighten my hobbit hair. By time I got done, the redness had almost completely vanished. I opened the door and walked slowly to the living room where Phil was sat on the couch.

"How come you took so long?" He asked, removing his focus from the TV to my face. I half covered my face with my hair just in case any signs of sadness were showing.

"Just felt like it, I guess." I say looking towards the floor.

"Well, do you wanna play some Sonic?" He asks with an adorable smile. No matter how sad I was,  that smile could always force a real smile to form on my face.

"Yeah," I say with a bit of enthusiasm.

As we play, we take turns with the controller. We both did horrible. I was actually laughing. How could Phil manage to make my day so much brighter? When Phil had the controller I had my eyes glued on the TV. "Don't die here again!" I yell at him, but still with a smile on my face.

"I'm trying!" He desperately hit the buttons with more force than needed to try to surpass the part he always died at. "I DID IT! I DID IT!" He squealed as he successfully made it through the part.

"Focus! There's only a little more left!" I said, my eyes still glued on the screen. I didn't blink at all.

When Phil completed the level, I jumped up from the couch practically screaming my head off. Phil couldn't jump due to his ribs being broken. He had to be in a wheelchair for a while. He threw the controller up harder than he planned and it smashed into the ceiling. We both covered our heads just in case the controller were to hit us. When it hit the ground it smashed into a million pieces. Our screaming turned into laughter as we stared at the poor controller.

"That controller did nothing to you, Phil!" I still couldn't stop laughing.

"Sorry, controller!" He laughed.

When the laughter died down, we went on Netflix and watched some Game of Thrones.

These were the times I really liked. When I was with Phil I could always be myself and not worry about anything. Why did I ever date Lucas? I never regretted dating anyone, but Lucas was the exception. I wish I never met him. Phil wouldn't be hurt and neither would I. Thinking about it made me want to cry so I starting focusing more on the Game of Thrones.

"Dan, are you sure you're okay? You seem really upset. Do you wanna talk?" Phil looked over.

"How come you think I look upset?" I asked. I hadn't shown any signs... Or at least I didn't think I did.

"You aren't looking at the TV and when you got out of the shower you were hiding your face and looking down. You always look up when you talk." Phil sounded worried.

"It's stupid." I insisted.

"Please tell me." He paused the show and turned to look at me.

I sighed... I have to tell him. "It's just that-- It's Lucas. I don't miss him. I actually regret ever meeting him... But I can't believe what he did. It broke my heart. Especially seeing you hurt. I'm just so sorry this happened to you. I should have believed you when you told me he was cheating." By now, more tears were streaming down my face and into my lap. My heart lifted when I felt the warm embrace of Phil's arms.

"It's okay. I'll be out of this chair in a few weeks then we can go back to the way it was before." His voice calmed me.

"You're so awesome. I love you." I said. I figured it might sound a little weird to say I love you, but I did love Phil. It was more of a family love though.

Phil's POV

I was still hugging Dan when I heard the three little words that I've always wanted to tell him. I love you. Dan Howell just said 'I love you' to me.

"I love you, too."