The Kick Back

Noted

Walking through my house old memories were now gone. Everything that reminded me of how things used to be, was either thrown or given away. My new life would start in two days and i was overly ecstatic. No more California and the petty drama, and lastly no old hard feelings. My mission was to leave with a clear conscience. Anything that hadn't been solved or talked about, would be squashed and pushed to the past. I was on a new journey and nothing was going to get in the way of my growth process. I made sure to squash any hard feelings I had with the 'old clique', I even managed to sit down and talk with Maria. It took a lot for me to not have jumped on her. Her attitude sucked and her delivery was even worse. Maria would no longer take me out of character. She was known for being ignorant at times..I wasn't about to play her games. The tension between us was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. I was determined to get some type of closure, and I did that. My calm composure made her realize that I wasn't out to get her. Eventually we were able to talk things out. I wen't my way and she went hers. All the loop holes from my past were now closed..it was time to move on.

The last few days in my parent's house were tough. The foundation my parent's worked so hard for, was now someone else's to rebuild their story. It was sad that things had gotten worse before they got any better. If it had not have been for Uncle Tim, my family probably would not have come around. I hated to admit that my people were selfish. They were more concerned about their own issues, then to check on me from time to time. My sisters became their number one priority and I was pushed to the back burner.

I can't count how many times both my parent's sat down and wanted to talk. Sad thing is I wasn't really interested in what they had to say. They had been forgiven for their short comings. I guess they couldn't forgive themselves. My life was too short to have held any type of grudge. It hurt like hell when they left me behind, but through it all I was thankful for the experience.

Uncle Tim had reached out wanting to talk to me about things. As muched as it pained to look that man in his face, I was willing to sit down with him and hear him out. The visit to the prison was long and very emotional. Sitting in a private room with Tim as he laid everything out on the table, blew my mind. He apologized for how things had gone between us, and truthfully I didn't hate him. I knew Tim was three sheets from being loopy, I just never thought that he would put me in harms way. Tim had always been my favorite Uncle. No matter what we had gone through we were still family. The moment I looked into his eyes and told him I forgave him, Tim lost it. He was yet another one who hadn't forgiven himself. It was never my place to hold a grudge against anyone, my heart was too big for that. My momma use to tell me as a little girl that all wounds healed over time..that was something I truly believed in.

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Every room in the house once held a memory. I walked throughout the house to hear the laughter that was once heard through the walls. So many different noises blared through the walls. Walking past my parents room, noises of laughter and passionate love making began fading the closer I walked to my sisters room. Little chuckles and silly conversations about nothing faded as I walked past their room. It didn't take long to realize that those memories were only for that moment.

Antonio grabbed my shoulder as I sat at the top of the stairs. "You alright beautiful?", laying my head on his shoulder, he was my breath of fresh air. Closing my eyes I pictured us on that seven pm flight to Grand Rapids, Michigan. "Yes baby I'm fine." I confessed. I wasn't really interested in holding any conversation. This would be one of our last nights together. There was so much unfinished business between us and I couldn't leave before I told him everything.

"Antonio I'm really sad that this is one of our last days together. I've learned so much from you, you were the one who taught me how to really love. I knew how to love, I just didn't know how to love someone other than my family." Putting his finger over my lips, Antonio placed a soft kiss on my lips. "I just want to hear you breath." Looking in Antonio's eyes he began to cry. "Don't cry sweetie. Everything will be alright." Wiping the tears from his face. "Look I have something that I've been holding off on giving you." Getting up I walked back to Uncle Tim's room. Hiding my hands behind my back, I watched as Antonio wiped the last of his tears.

Handing Antonio a lump sum of money his mouth dropped. "Stephanie what is this for?" Antonio's reaction was priceless. I had a lot of loyalty when it came to Antonio. What was mines was his. Antonio scanned the money as if he was holding fake dollar bills. "It's all real baby. I've been holding off giving you this for a reason. I wanted to make sure you were ready. That's six thousand dollars. When I leave Antonio I want to know that you will be alright. I want you to enroll in college and go make something of yourself baby. three thousand of that money I want you to put up for Gabby. Gabby has so much potential and I don't want her to waste it here. I Love you and I know you are going to make it. It's not much Antonio, but its what I could give. Don't worry about paying me back. It's already been noted.."