Frustration -SERIES- [Part 1] [boyxboy]

Chapter Eighteen

With the advent of Conthur (a word makes me nauseated every time I hear or use it) the crowd at the show that night were particularly excited. Though Name Withheld pulled off a flawless, amazing performance, all anybody seemed to want was for Arthur to come onstage with them and kiss Conor again. It seemed to be a case of, "If Bristol get to see it in person, why can't we?"

Eventually Conor, in his trademark angst-ridden moodiness, snapped, 'Fine! Arthur, where the fuck are you?' squinting towards the side of the stage. After a few moments Arthur tripped onstage, only half dressed and looking decidedly dishevelled, obviously not expecting it but taking it like the performer he was. My stomach clenched painfully as I expected them to start kissing again, but they just played the same version of "Frustration" they'd played the night before and then, with the once-more rising screams from the crowd, Conor kissed Arthur innocently on the cheek and left the stage, refusing to go back on no matter how desperately they called for him.

'No,' he said stubbornly to Sarah when she tried to reason with him. 'Anyway, I thought you were on my side?'

'I am,' she assured him. 'But... I mean, they want to see it...'

'Fuck them then,' he snapped, glaring at her. 'Tell them it's on fucking YouTube.'

'Is it on fucking YouTube?' Josh asked me quietly, and I shrugged.

'It is,' Jackson said regretfully, and I turned to look at him. He shrugged. 'Now you know.'

'Our first kiss was onstage as well,' I complained. 'Why isn't that on fucking YouTube?'

'It fucking is on fucking YouTube,' Rach interrupted, obviously amused at the excessive swearing that was going on. 'You knew that.'

'What?' I demanded, but then realisation dawned. I had known that. Joey had mentioned it in Conor's room when we'd visited his family for Christmas.

'It went up within hours of you declaring your love for him. To Sally.'

'Gimme your phone,' I demanded of Josh. He handed it over and I opened his YouTube app, searching simply "Tycon kiss". Creepily, several videos of still pictures of us caught in various make-out sessions popped up, mostly with Name Withheld music for background, but predictably the first couple of videos were shaky camera-phone ones of the night in December I'd made an idiot of myself on stage in the Liquid Lounge.

The one I clicked on started from just a couple of seconds before I walked onstage, pretty much right after I said it. I guess it made sense that nobody was filming before that; nobody knew anything was about to happen. The lighting in the club was pretty dim, the main illumination being the lights on the stage, so you could only really make out our silhouettes as we stared each other down for a few seconds before Conor dropped his hand from the microphone and walked towards me quickly, kissing me hard on the mouth.

Even though I'd known it was coming as I was watching it, my tummy still flipped over pleasurably and I smiled slightly at the memory before I could catch myself. The video ended and I had to actively stop myself from pressing "Replay" while the others were all watching it over my shoulder.

'See?' Rachel said. 'I can't believe you haven't seen this.'

I was barely listening though; in some cruel twist of fate a video called "CONTHUR FIRST KISS LIVE IN BRISTOL!!!!11!" had popped up under the Suggestions sidebar and before anyone could stop me or snatch the phone back I clicked on it.

The small space we were inhabiting filled with the noise of the crowd cheering and Conor and Arthur's voices barely rising over the noise as they sang "Frustration" together for the first time. The video was even more shaky than the first had been, as the cinematographer was clearly jumping around to the music as well as documenting fangirl history. The song ended and the noise of the crowd reached positively deafening levels as the kiss started and I forced myself to watch, though I had no idea why. It was making me sick. I knew I looked even more like shit than I had already just by watching it; the blood was draining from my face – though I don't know where it was going, because I felt weak and shaky all over – and I'm sure I looked like I was about to throw up.