Frustration -SERIES- [Part 1] [boyxboy]

Chapter Nineteen

'Oh my god, you didn't!' Jackson gasped, seriously shocked, when I mentioned shoving Arthur up against the wall of the bathroom by his throat.

I nodded sagely. 'I did.'

'And you really said that? That you love Conor and he'll never love Conor like you do?'

'Yes.'

Jackson contemplated the seriousness of this for a few seconds, then nodded his approval. 'Good. That was a good thing. You don't stand up for yourself enough.'

I shook my head with the clarity that looking through a bottle of vodka affords you. 'It was stupid. He'll probably tell Conor, and you know Conor. He'll get off on the idea that I still love him, and clearly want him back. Smug... Arse... Bastard...' I mumbled the last few words incoherently as they came to me.

'Yeah, you're right,' Jackson promptly agreed, and I took another swig out of my now half-empty bottle. Nothing had edges anymore. 'If Arthur tells him,' he added.

I shrugged. 'Why wouldn't he? If I was in his position and my boyfriend's ex had just verbally and physically assaulted me, I'd probably casually mention it in conversation. I'm the psycho in this story, after all. And you know what? Arthur isn't even the one who deserves to have me psycho-ing at him. Conor is the one I should be yelling at, if anyone.'

Jackson shrugged and flopped down on the bed. 'Only two dates left,' he mumbled, as if that was supposed to cheer me up.

'I thought you were the one saying Conor and I would be back together before the tour even ended.'

He propped himself up on his elbows. 'I stand by that. But just in case I'm wrong, I bet you anything that once they've got the Irish Sea back between them Conor and Arthur will fall apart like wet paper.'

'You know, oddly, that doesn't make me feel any better.'

'Sorry.'

'It's okay. What about you?' I pointed at him with my bottle. 'What are you gonna do about your girlfriend?'

Jackson made a face. 'How fucked up is it that I've been wondering whether I'd be able to "share" her? Like I'm crazy in love with her, dude. Sometimes I think having her half of the time would be better than having her none of the time.'

I laughed. 'Pretty fucked up,' I told him. 'But I get it.'

He scowled and his shoulders dropped. 'It wouldn't be for me though. I'd hate it. I'd get so resentful. I want all of her, I can't go from having all of her to sharing her with fucking Tarquin.' He paused and sighed. 'I dunno. I thought we were all good again after Conor shocked everyone into remembering to take care of their relationships. Maybe I'm imagining things.'

'They are always together.' That was cruel of me, but I was kind of enjoying having somebody to share my misery with.

'Tell me something more unlikely to make me feel better,' Jackson said sarcastically.

'I've always gotten a distinctive gay vibe from Tarquin.'

Jackson spluttered and laughed. 'That actually did make me feel a bit better.'

'He comes across as a top but I'd bet he'd be a bottom.'

'To who though?'

I gulped some vodka and spluttered, 'Arthur Rollings!' and we clinked our bottles together. 'You know,' I told him, settling down again, 'if we'd stayed together we'd have had to change half way through our relationship.'

'Change what?'

'Positions. When we first got together last year I'd have been top, but then you grew nine feet over Easter and acquired some mysterious muscle mass and we'd have had to swap after the holidays.'