2 Forced Memories

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Emma howled. Her voice breaking the silence of the bright forest. The sound soared and slowly faded on the still air. The sun has shown down between the limbs of overhead trees. She pulled in the oak-scented air. She tried to force herself to feel calm. Slowly her heart slowed.

She tried to change forms once again. She pulled her memories of her human body to the forefront of her mind. But the change refused to come. Her wolf form remained intact.

Save your energy, Lycan. We are stuck until the pup is born. Mia said in her mind.

Born? Emma questioned, even her mental voice trembled.

Told you it was dangerous. The pregnancy was too far advanced. The pup has to change as the new form is taken. It was too developed to change again. Our body protects our pup. It will not force a change the pup cannot survive.

I can't. I can't give birth in this form, Mia. I don't know how.

We can. We have no choice. We had to change to save our offspring. Now we remain in this form to do the same. We are lucky that we didn't lose the pup, Emma. Now we hunt. We find a place to sleep. We must look for our pack tomorrow. Mia sounded so calm, so sure, that a bit of Emma's anxiety melted.

What will we name the pup?  Mia asked after a prolonged pause.

If it a boy - Jameson after his father. She felt the sadness of her loss.

For a moment it was all that she could feel. It flooded her limbs and her mind clouded. She felt the urge to howl in grief and sorrow. My love is gone. Gone. Gone. There is nothing left. Her limbs felt unnaturally heavy. She lifted her head to yell her pain out into the light of day. Mia growled at her.

Now is not the time for sorrow. Mourn mate when the pup is born, safe, and body is restored. Mia chided. We hunt now.

Emma didn't have the will to hold onto control over the body. Mia assumed control and started stalking a rabbit.

In the back of Mia's mind, Emma crouched down mourning her soulmate, her love, her life, the father to her unborn child. The thought of the child tugged at her emotions but the pain proved too much to overcome.

Mia caught the rabbit and swiftly ended its life. She felt no sorrow for the creature. Her hunger, the pup, and survival were her priorities. It was in her wolf nature to kill and eat. It was in the nature of the rabbit to be eaten. It just was.

Mia felt Emma's withdraw farther into the back of their mind as she bit into the rabbit. Emma couldn't handle the taste, warmth, and scent of the blood as Mia consumed the food.

Mia marveled that the hunger diminished with each bite. Her wild nature vibrated to life. She had hunted and killed game animals in wolf form. She had never consumed the still warm, bloody, raw flesh. It had always been taken to the pack, cleaned and cooked.

After the food was gone Emma returned. She followed the sun. Any time she stopped to rest she was consumed by grief. The memory of her dead mate haunting her like a specter.

When hunger gnawed at her she withdrew and allowed Mia to hunt and eat. She ate more and more often.

She no longer felt the link to the pack. She wondered if they felt the absence of her in their minds. Did they think her dead like her mate?

Finally, she made it to a human city. In wolf form, she found it hard to move around.

For two weeks she walked the edges of the human city. She seldom ventured out in daylight. It was unlikely that she would be confused for a domestic dog. At night she ventured out and found out as much information as she could.

The city was called Trenton. It's population only number 4200. It was 454 miles from her pack.

She ate constantly. Her wolf demanded it for the growing pup. But Emma forgot about hunger her mind only focused on her pain.

She found it harder and harder to concentrate on human thought.

The missing pack link bothered to her. She needed them. She felt alone, even with her wolf in her head and the pup growing in her womb. determined she left the human city and made her way towards home.

She tried to push the memories away. But she constantly saw him. Dead. Bloody. His eyes staring at nothing as she screamed his name. The pain in her chest as the mate bond severed made it impossible to fight as someone yanked her away from his body.

Mia growled at her. Shut up. Think of something else, Emma.

Emma could feel Mia's pain. So she tried. But it was no use. Mia's pain only infused her own and made it harder.

Mia violently ripped flesh off the squirrel. Emma shuddered.

Think. Of. Some. Thing. Else. Now. I'm too close to my wild nature. Stop pushing me with the memory of OUR dead mate. I want to save his pup. I want James' pup to thrive.

If she had been in human form she would have had a river of tears streaming from her eyes.

Mia gave an ear-splitting howl. It was not only in her head.

Desperately Mia shoved a memory to Emma. The day they discovered she was pregnant. James had picked her up and swung her around. He had been thrilled. He wanted this pup. He loved it. Male or female he didn't care. As he let her feet touch the floor he said, "If it's a boy we can't name him James. It has to be Jaxon Anthony, after my grandfather. If it's a girl, I want to name her Sharon Lee, after your grandmother. Say yes." He shouted excitedly as he picked her up and spun around the room again.

Emma almost, almost, wanted to reject the memory. She wanted to name the baby after his father.

~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N~~~~~~~~

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