Through the Glass k.th [HYYH pt.1]

48

**Trigger Warning**

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It didn't hurt anymore. Everything stopped. Everything was quiet, let had a certain quality of volume to it. The silence was loud, deafening. Alone. That's what this was, loneliness. But it was over, it would all end, or it had already ended. There was an element of peace in that.

This was death then? This emptiness...this loneliness... Would have thought there would at least be someone familiar, like his mother. Someone had said she was dead too hadn't they? But the memory of anyone saying that was gone all except for the thought of the words.

"She told me to."

What was that? Who was saying that? The voice echoed around the blank space. The breaking of the silence almost felt good. Like coming out of a dark, seemingly endless tunnel.

"I needed the money, he'll say the same. I don't know why he did, but I was going to starve, I had to."

The voice echoed hollowly, like a ghost, maybe it was a ghost, just a wandering spirit. But the voice felt very real in a way.

"It was all about the money. I did whatever she asked. If I didn't, she'd call the police, and I would be on the street anyway. She held my life on a tether."

Who was this? There shouldn't be anything, should there? Should there? This place was too empty to have anyone actually here.

"She knew how he was, she knew how to make him act. He could never watch anyone get hurt, he had more of a sense of...humanity then we all did. He would step in, and for that, he would be punished, Park only needed an excuse. I didn't know that was why at the time, all I cared about was myself, I didn't see the harm, I thought it was just to bully him, because I thought she was hurt about her father's death."

Park? What was their names? It was Park, right? Mrs. Park, Dr. Park... Park Jimin. What about Park Jimin? Wasn't there someone named Park Jimin? Didn't I know someone named Park Jimin? What does that mean? 'I' don't exist anymore.

"I don't think she did. After all this bullsh*t, I think it was a front, and I'm Sure Dr. Park must have known, why would he do this otherwise? He killed the biggest piece of evidence, he killed the one person that could point it out, he made sure he couldn't talk, that he would never talk, and if that doesn't sell my damn point, you're all thick and stupid. You watched him die, you all did, if you want to believe somehow Taehyung did that to himself, I've lost faith in humanity."

Taehyung? Taehyung... I know that name too. I know that voice too. Min Yoongi. The court, I remember the court, dying on the floor, Jimin yelling at me, crying. Everyone was crying. Jimin, Jungkook, Kyung-mi, Mrs. Park, Hana, Seokjin...

The silence around was filled with a rhythmic sound that seemed much like a bass drum, over and over, two at a time, it sounded like a heartbeat. It was loud, like it was right in his ear.

Heartbeat? Is that my heartbeat? Am I alive? How could I be alive? I thought... I thought... That can't be...I couldn't have survived that, that's near impossible...I couldn't ever be that lucky, I've never been that lucky.

Then the pain came back, all the pain he'd stopped feeling when he'd closed his eyes came back and hit him like a freight train. I have to be alive then, nothing could hurt like this except living. But I like the pain. If it means living, I'd rather feel pain.

"He's responding! Keep going!"

If he wasn't dead, then maybe... Maybe it didn't have to be like this, maybe no one had to cry either. Maybe I won't--. Maybe everyone can be happy... Maybe this won't be good-bye, I could see them again, be with all of them again. If they can smile, if it'll fix it, than I want to live, I don't want to die, I'm scared of dying, I don't like this loneliness, It's worse than the hospital, it's worse than the white room.