The Sweet Escape

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Three

Looking at him clearly now, into those green eyes that she loved so much, made her feel all sorts of emotions. Ian was there right in front of her. And the way he looked at her brought back so many memories of them back in happier days. He wanted her back. Ian wanted to be with her again. But could it be so simple to just go back to the way things used to be?

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this myself," she said. "You should've been the first person I told. It was your child too."

Ian shook his head. "I understand why you didn't. I'm not blaming you at all." His eyes softened and he reached out for her. "Skylar, I love y-"

She shook her head quickly and took a step back. "Don't. Please don't."

He looked a little hurt but respected her wishes. "I'm sorry."

"I guess we should talk about this, huh," she said.

"We should."

She walked back into her room and sat down on her bed. Ian followed her and took a seat next to her. It was silent for a moment.

"I hate the way things ended between us," she finally said. "Hell, I moved back here because of you."

"I didn't want you to do that," he said. "I hate being so far away from you. And I hated knowing that you moved hundreds of miles away because of me. I'm so sorry, Skylar. I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry for hurting you, I never wanted that to happen."

She clenched her hands at her sides and looked down at her feet. "It doesn't matter anymore," she said softly. "I believe things are going in the right direction here. I'm starting classes soon. Living with Kyle is great. I'm becoming closer to my family. That's all I ever wanted."

He nodded. "Yes, and that's great. I'm really happy for you."

"I think I'm going to really like living here again," she added.

Ian ran a hand through his hair and released a heavy sigh. "F.uck, Skylar. I need to be with you. What can I do for you take me back?"

"Ian, I-"

"Please, baby," he said, his voice cracking as a tear rolled down his cheek. He got off the bed and fell to his knees in front of her, grabbing both her hands in his. "I love you so much. I'll do anything. You want to stay here? Fine. I'll move here, that's not a problem. Anything. Just...please...I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that I'm fine because I'm not. I need you in my life."

Seeing him on his knees made her see that he really did want to be with her again. And, yes, she wanted to be with him too. Hell, she would have loved to wrap her arms around him and kiss him like there was no tomorrow. But...she couldn't. Things just couldn't go back to the way they used to be. Life just didn't work like that. Things just couldn't easily work out for people. If there was anything had learned in her twenty-one years of life, it was that things never came easy to her. There would always be something that just had to ruin it. Plus, after everything that had happened between them, it was hard to believe that it could be this simple.

"You know that I love you," she said. "I do. But I can't do this, Ian. Not again. I've realized that I don't know what I want in life. I have so many things to figure out-"

"I'll help you," he pleaded.

She shook her head. "I need to learn from my mistakes and find myself, as cheesy as that sounds, but it's true. I need to learn to be independent from anyone. I want to focus on myself, my happiness. I don't want to be tied down to anyone. I want a simple life where I don't have to constantly worry if we'll make it to the next day, if there's more trouble waiting around the corner. I'm sick of it. Losing that child made me realize that I need to better myself before I can even think about settling for what's in front of me right now. I need to look into what the future might hold for me."