Boy In My Class [Gerard Way]

Chapter 16: Goodbye NYU

It was official. Gerard Way was my boyfriend. Something was special about the relationship and I couldn't tell exactly what it was but we were so perfect together. We were inseperable, smitten and had gotten to the point where we could finish each others sentences. We were always together. Everyone in my class or his class at NYU knew we were together. People would ask me where Gerard was if I was walking through the university building alone. I went to every Raygun Jones concert that he and Mikey performed before they decided to pursue other projects.

I was in love with him. He was in love with me. Simple.

Months had passed since we had decided to enter an exclusive relationship. Winter had finally faded and the trees had leaves growing on them again. The weather was warmer and the nights were shorter. It was now April, and my final exam was approaching. My dissertation had been submitted so all I had to do was study for one exam. That sounds great, right?

Not really.

Once I walk out of that exam hall my time at NYU will officially be over and I will no longer need to be here. When June comes around, my dormitory contract will expire and I will have to move home.

I couldn't bear to think about the fact that my year abroad was ending. At the beginning of the year I was homesick and scared, and kept telling myself 'It's only nine months until you can go home.' Now, with only two months left, I felt sick at the thought of leaving. Gerard and I hadn't discussed the fact that my time at NYU was nearly over. I wondered if he actually remembered that I was just an exchange student. I dreaded bringing it up in conversation and so I just decided to focus on my exam and push it to the back of my mind.

"Izzyyyy!"

I looked up from my desk in the library to see Gerard stood in front of me with a lily in his hand, just like he had done on our first date.

"Hey G," I smiled, kissing him gently as he came to sit besides me.

"Can I take you out for dinner?" he said, kissing my cheek repeatedly as he spoke. "Last night was the first night in ages that I didn't stay over at yours and I missed you."

"I'm sorry G, I was so tired," I said. "I fell asleep at like 10pm."

"It's ok," he smiled. "So how about dinner?"

"I...I don't know I've got a lot of revision to do," I began, but he cut me off quickly.

"Izzy are you avoiding me because you know you have to go back to England soon?"

He looked into my eyes and gave me goosebumps. He still had that effect on me despite the fact that we had been together for months. I hadn't noticed but he was right- that's exactly what I was doing.

 "No," I said, crossing my arms like a stubborn child.

"Izzy come on," he said, nuzzling his head into my shoulder. "Let's go for dinner."

"No," I sulked. "Let's go back to my dorm."

***

Back at the dorm, we got straight into bed and Gerard wrapped his arms around me.

"Don't worry about it Izzy," he said, stroking my hair. "I know you have to go back. But it's not gonna be the end for us."

"It'll be the end of you being in my bed every night," I sighed, holding his hand and playing with his fingers under the sheets. "I'll miss you so much."

"I'll come visit you!" he insisted. "I've always wanted to visit the UK. And you can visit me. We can work it out."

I was unsure for some reason. Being together was such a big part of our relationship. We missed each other after one night apart. We were inseparable. So how would we cope from different continents?

"Isabel," he said, sinking down into the bed until our faces were facing one another. "We're going to be fine."

*****

Anyone who has ever been at university will tell you that time really flies faster than you could ever imagine. Months go by like days, and when you're busy studying, you don't even notice it.

My final exam was upon me. I was sat in the examination hall writing my heart out. Writing everything I knew about History. My palms were sweating so badly that my pen was slipping out of my hand but I knew I had studied hard enough to pass, so I concentrated hard and made it through. Gerard had his final exam in the exam hall next to mine, and I had to try hard not to wonder how he was doing. He was much more relaxed than me about exams, but I knew it was important to him to get good grades.

That's it, I've finished it.

I sat upright. Everything felt strange. I signalled to the invigilator that I was finished and got up to leave. I glanced around at the students I had made friends with and the building I had grown to love.

I stepped outside. Gerard was already there, cigarette in hand. 

"Thought you might want one of your occasional cigarettes," he said, handing me a menthol. I took it gratefully and lit it up. I had tears in my eyes.

"Oh Izz, are you okay?" he asked, putting his arm around me and squeezing me tightly. "Did you struggle in the exam?"

"No," I said, wiping a single tear away that had escaped down my cheek. "I just don't want today to happen. I'm no longer an NYU student, G."

"Shut up," he said, kissing my forehead. "Once an NYU student, always an NYU student. And you've got plenty of time left before your dorm room contract ends. So stop worrying!"

***

Anyone who has ever been abroad will tell you that time really flies faster than you could ever imagine. Months go by like days, and when you're busy spending time with the person you love, you don't even notice it.

"Izzy you need to cut this out!"

Gerard looked at me with desperation in his eyes. I could barely see him through my blurry vision. I had been crying for hours.

"G, I can tell you this isn't going to work," I sobbed.

"Isabel," he said angrily. "I know that you are just picking fights with me because you want to make this goodbye easier. But I'm BEGGING you, let's have a nice evening together and tomorrow I'll drive you to the airport."

I sobbed uncontrollably. He was right. But I was a coward and I wanted to make it easier.

"Just leave Gerard. Let's end it while we have the chance to do it face to face!"

"Izzy come on!" he shouted. He sounded angrier than I had ever heard him sound before. "I want to spend our last night with you, not without you!"

"Get out!" I shouted.

"You're kidding me right?" he said, angrily pushing past me. He opened the door and turned around before he left. "I thought you were smarter than this Izzy. I want to say goodbye to you properly. I love you for God's sake. Call me if you sort your head out."

He slammed the door shut. I couldn't explain why I did it, but at the time it made perfect sense. I had convinced myself that Gerard didn't want to be with me because of the distance but was too polite to tell me. I had also convinced myself that it wasn't going to work. Not having to worry about the airport goodbye had made me feel relieved. 

But not the next day.

Arriving at the airport by myself, I felt my eyes filling with tears. I had ruined my last night with Gerard by being selfish and afraid. And now I was leaving, unsure about whether or not we were even a couple anymore.